Am in the blogging mood again! Shall not talk about my driving, since a friend commented that I keep talking about my driving. HAHAHA. Let me share abit of my enthusiasm and zeal ma, hehehe :P

It's going to be the end of 2010! SO FAST OMG! I think the days are just zooming by so fast, so hard to catch them! My youth is slipping away!! OH NOOO! HAHAHA ok so bimbotic. LOL. But honestly, I should really catch onto my youth, and do all that I want to. Although some things are really not within my means la. humph. 2010 has been rather happening for me i guess, and it's like one of the milestones in my life. More significant than turning 21! Hahah. Maybe i should "copy" yy and do a summary of my 2010 in the next blog post. HEHEHE. :)

aiyaaa the "feel like typing" mood just dispersed. HAHA. And it's time to sleep! gotta go back to SGI tmr morning to set up classroom. MAY I WAKE UP ON TIME. HOHO.

Went for driving lesson just now, have started going on the roads since the previous lesson. The feeling is SHIOKNESS! hahaha! Have always been in the passenger seat, first time looking at the roads from the driver's view! Ok la it looks exactly the same, but the feeling is oh-so-different!! :) Cant't wait to get my license, though the lessons are making me so poor!! :(

Been staying at homequite abit these days revamping my room!! Hahah finally cleared out loads of rubbish and stuffs that i've been storing away for yearsssss! I'm the kind that likes to hold onto old things, so I still have ALOT of my old notes/files/books/blahblah. After realising how nice it is to have a non-cluttered room, I decided to 狠下心 and threw away many old stuffs. Can't believe I still kept my sec school Chemistry notes; useless stuff! Hahah not like I'm going to bother about the various acids/alkalines/blahblah anymore.. Felt a little sad clearing out my JC notes though; it brought back so many memories! Memories of sitting in the air-conditioned class listening to the teachers, of eating fishball noodle during break( especially jap don on fridays), of studying till late at night in school near a' levels, of practicing in the small little co room...so many! :)))) Honestly, looking at all that i've studied for a levels, how much effort i put in, how i studied during uni was really bleahhhhh.. I guess I really need teachers to be there to prod me to study, for the school to drop reminders and stress on us every few days. Haha, OTOT just doesn't seem to work for me. SIGH.

And JC was also the period when I got to know some of the awesome friends I have in my life now <3 I guess the bonds forged when we were all working together towards the same goal just stays, no matter what. I guess things happen for a reason, somehow we will meet up and click with people destined to stay in our lives! :))

Hooked onto a song recently, it's not really new, but not too old too! hahaha. it's 寂寞寂寞就好 by S.H.E's Hebe. NICEEEEE! :))

還是原來那個我 不過流掉幾公升淚所以變瘦
對著鏡子我承諾 遲早我會還這張臉一堆笑容

不算什麼 愛錯就愛錯
早點認錯 早一點解脫

我寂寞寂寞就好 這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了 想到快瘋掉
死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好 你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了 賴著不放掉
人本來就寂寞的 借來的都該還掉

我總會把你戒掉

還是原來那個你 是我自己做夢你有改變什麼
再多的愛也沒用 每個人有每個人的業障因果

會有什麼 什麼都沒有
早點看破 才看得見以後

我寂寞寂寞就好 這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了 想到快瘋掉
死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好 你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了 賴著不放掉
人本來就寂寞的 我總會把你戒掉

time for bed!! nitessssssssss!

I FINALLY went for my first driving lesson today! FINALLY!! :)) Went at the wrong timing though; thought my lesson was at 1245 when it was actually 1850. ARGH. To think I even took a cab there, bleah! Wasted my time going back home then coming out again in the evening. Haha but luckily first lesson went well! :) Instructor was nice and funny, very friendly too! The first time letting go of the brake and feeling the car move was so "whoaaaaaaaaa". Almost freaked out when I had to make a left turn, it's not that easy afterall! hahah! Lucky the instructor had those safety pedals thingy on his side, so he could help me to brake. Drove around the circuit for a few rounds, was quite a shiok feeling actually. HEEHEE. I'm so looking forward to driveeeeeeeee! :D

Have been blogging lesser nowadays, cos of TUMBLR! hehe! Set up a recent tumblr account, and I must say that it is rather addictive! Everytime I feel like I have something on my mind, yet lazy to type out, I'll just go to tumblr to find some nice pictures or phrases. It's a cool feeling to see a phrase and in my mind i'll go "yes yes! that's exactly what i think too!" And all I have to do is reblog. I feel like it gives me a certain privacy space, somehow I can say what's on my mind without yet being too revealing. And so often, a picture speaks a thousand words! :) It's nice to be anonymous there, when I don't have to be me. Hahah am I making sense? :P

It's the holiday season now!! ALOOOOOT of people around me are going overseas, and like almost half of my extended family went overseas and came back. I WANT TOOOOO! Don't think I will be packing any luggage this time though, but I'll be looking forward to planning a trip away from Singapore! I so wanna go somewhere cold!

In holiday mood now, nothing much to update! ciaooo!

100TH POST!

wowww i'm at my 100TH POST! *throws confetti and pops champagne* have unknowingly filled this little space of mine with 99 posts of my own writings, whether short or long, so meaningful! I started to blog just so I could have a platform to rant, and share my thoughts and feelings. Never expected myself to hang on to it till so long, knowing I'm such a 三分钟热度person. Haha. I guess it's sometimes so much easier to type whatever I want in here, than to share it with someone else. When I just need a space to share my thoughts without bothering as much about how others would think. It's just about ME. Narcisstic? heheh :P

And so, the concert has come to an end. Seems that many parents commented that it was a great concert, that they enjoyed watching it. What a relief! It actually didn't go as well as planned, and our rehearsals even felt better. But what was most important to the parents was just whether their kids enjoyed themselves on stage. I guess they were all bursting with pride to see their babies shining on stage! :))) It was a rather hectic and nerve-wrecking day I would say! Just keeping the kids away from each other, and preventing them from running all over the place was by itself no mean feat. They got more and more restless and the time passed, as all of the teachers and volunteers got more and more tired. As WL said, it's not really physically tiring, it's more mentally challenging. Having to keep a lookout for all the kids is really not a joke. Especially when they have the tendency to run off to do something absurd, or maybe with no intentions of coming back. Haha! You will find yourself getting more and more paranoid, such that any small movement by the kids and you will immediately check it out. Thankfully my class was rather well-behaved, with only some hiccups here and there.

I got so anxious when it was time to go up on stage, although I wasn't even the ones performing. Felt a little like a parent sending her child on the first day of school; the uncertainty of knowing whether he will fare well, and yet the pride that he has finally reached the stage of independence. Had to help out with Boldness first, and some of the kids were acting up. Jon and Sebas and Kart could be heard even before the audience could see them, haha. The glaring lights on stage and the crowd probably gave them a bad shock. Poor things :( But at least they managed to finish the whole song finally, with one of them attempting to jump off the stage though loll. Next up was Ability! (that's my class btw :)) Shel and I had to help out with Boldness, which really gave us too little time to prepare for our own concert. Forgot to help the kids put on their masks, headbands, didn't even have enough time to breathe. And the music tracks were so mixed up, they kept playing the wrong music, or else not playing when there should be music. ROARRR! But thank goodness it still went on rather smoothly, although I totally felt like laughing and crying at the same time when

FOX asked on stage very audibly: WHERE IS MY DADDY? (His family started to wave wildly upon hearing that, and he so happily waved back LOL) >.<
When JUDE kept running around on stage and refusing to exit; I tried to grab him but missed, and the audience started laughing >.<
When BENJAMIN couldn't stop giggling into the mike on stage instead of saying his lines, and for some reason repeated his lines twice >.<
When IMAAD came out only after like eonsssss (the audience erupted into applause once they saw him), and his lines couldn't even be heard by the audience >.<
When MOEEZ waved so happily on stage(to his family i guess) even though we told him nottttt to do so >.<
When the music didn't come on as it was supposed to, and poor NITHYA had to stand on stage alone waiting to dance. Wondered what she did though, cos I heard the audience laughing >.<

HAHAHA <3

It was so touching at the end when all the children went up on stage again, cos u can see all the parents and family waving WILDLY. TOTALLY WILDLY. I could see some of the expressions of the parents, think they were just about to burst with pride! awwwww LOLLLL! It was such a heart-warming scene honestly, and then you realize what all the previous hard work was for :)

Felt sooo shagged at the end of the concert. Glad that it was over, but yet sad at the same time too. Many thanks to the cousin who came down to help, she really made things easier for us! And lucky there were other volunteers there to help too, otherwise it would have been much more chaotic and crazyyy. Now that it's over, back to normal life again. Still gotta go back to work to help out with shifting, and my 3 months is almost up... Oh well, all I can do is wait and see. Cross my fingersssss :)

End of this lengthy post! Time for bed soon.. Work starts at 11am tomorrow, so I can afford to sleep later abit tonight! hehe. Nites all! Cheers to my 100th post agn!! :)

My mood for these few days haven't been that awesome; probably the accumulation of being sick previously, meeting some unhappiness at work and blah blah blah... Shan't talk about my issues at work, cos it is definitely not good to share it in a public platform where anyone can read this, and it's also a mixture of different issues i guess. It's not that terrible, just made me feel uncomfortable and insecure. There seems to be some light about it though, hopefully it will get resolved by next week! Don't ask me about it ok, definitely not a problem with me haha.. prefer to keep it within doors :)

No matter what, I'm still loving the work that I've been doing! Today was the last day of school before the holidays, and I honestly felt rather nostalgic and sad. Although tomorrow's going to be THE BIG DAY for the kids (it is the day of the annual school concert which we have been practising super long for), there are a few of them who wouldn't be joining due to other commitments. The thought that it would be a loooong time before I would see them again did make my heart wrench a little, especially when things are a little hazy now and I'm not sure if I would be back :( One of the students in my class will be going to a regular primary school next year, and although I definitely feel happy for him and ahem probably myself, there's still this feeling of sadness. Many mixed emotions I would say!

Talking about the concert, I'm really hoping that it would go on smoothly! All the children and teachers have been practising it for very long, and it really means alot to us. It's also my first "concert" as a teacher, and it does seem so significant to me. There will be loadssss of parents tomorrow, scary! Haha but so far many parents that i've met have been really nice, so it should be fine! Was actually quite excited at first for some friends to join in this special occasion to help out as volunteers, but many of them were unable to make it. Must say that I do feel a little disappointed with the responses, but thankful to my cousin who is willing to come down to help! :) It was really nice of her to agree immediately after I asked, even though it was rather last minute. I really don't like the feeling of "begging" people to help, to repeatedly ask once and again just to get uncertain and avoidant responses. Makes me feel so desperate. Well I'm not! I believe if you have the heart to do so, it would show. We really need all the help we can get I suppose, am sure it is gonna be a chaoticccccc situation! Haha but I'm sure it will be loads of fun and laughter nonetheless, so I'm really looking forward to it! Although many of the kids really do things that make me wanna scream at them, but honestly their antics really melt my heart at times. And I guess the satisfaction and joy that I've gotten from teaching them is really way beyond words and so cherished, I really feel fortunate to have the opportunity to experience it :) Somehow, all the ups and downs have made everything so worthwhile, I would choose this route all over again.

This may not have been the perfect job, nor the best offer that I could have gotten, but I've never regretted stepping into this field. I feel that it has somehow brought out something in me, made me do and feel things like I've never thought I would. Although times are hazy now, and somehow I feel like I'm at the crossroads once again, but one thing is for sure, I will try as much as I can to stay in this field. Even if I stop working here, I will find something else in this field of work. These 3 months have brighten this path for me, and made me even more determined that this is the route that I want to take, at least in the near couple of years. :) I don't feel so uncertain about the path that I want to take now, like there's a goal in my life! I guess everything happens for a reason, and for this moment, I really feel blessed to be where I am <3 Not the best, but it's enough for me. Hope this feeling can stay for a longer period of time, haha!

Oh well, have typed sooo much unknowingly! It time for bed, to prepare for the BIG DAY tomorrow! goodnighttttttt :)

dontbrushitofflikeitdoesntmeananythingtoyou,cositmightmeantheworldtome.

suddenly feel so tired. feels like there's alot that i want to say, yet don't know where to start from, don't know what to say. maybe i expect too much from people sometimes, maybe i'm just not understanding enough? i don't know, don't want to care. it's so tiring to always try to make everything go right. it sucks when u don't feel understood, but yet it feels like it would take too much of an effort to explain, and it's already disappointing enough without having to do so.

and when u get emo, there are a thousand things that you can get emo about.

did i say that before? thought i ever did. oh wells, i think i'm starting to not make any sense. just random rantings eh, please don't read too much into it. i think i just need a good sleep! and tomorrow will be a better day (:

another monthly update!

I seem to be updating monthly now, hurhur. Nothing much to update; life is booooooring! ahaha except when at work la, not a single boring moment OMG. Been helping to relieve another class on alternate days as one of the teachers left, and it's really a physically demanding there! Lol. Hard to explain, but it's just alot of pulling, running, dragging, pushing; you go imagine!! >.< But the children are really cute at times la,I gotta give it to their antics sometimes!

Had a nice birthday this year, I love surprises!! :) many thanks to the nusco pals who especially came to my house to give me a surprise celebration on friday!! Neighbour used quite a lame excuse to test if I would be at home, but i didn't even suspect anything! They were supposed to come by my house ard 8plus after my tuition, but they didnt expect me have last-minute changes in my plans, such that I was gg somewhere else till late instead of going for tuition! hohoho. So neighbour had to call me up and tell me their "surprise", which sadly was not so surprising anymore! Hahaha sorryyyyyy! Thanks for waiting till 10 for me, very sweeeeeet of you guys! Bet u guys had fun at jaz's hse anyway rite! lol :P I really appreciate them coming all the way up here just to celebrate my bday for me! really touched!!:))) Thanks for the presents and the (rather-squashed) bday tart! HAHA! <3

My very sweet cousins also bought a cake to celebrate for me on saturday, didn't expect them to! And I love the watch that they gave to me, really really!! feels like 21 all over again! heehee <3

And talking about watches, I realise all the watches that I have now were given to me as bday gifts, except for one that was passed down to me by mum. Probably I won't need to buy anymore watches this lifetime if this tradition continues! *winks* HAHAHA nahh just joking!

Went Ma Maison to celebrate with the nus girls on sunday, my first time to the restaurant! The ambience and food was not too bad I guess, but hmmm not that fantastic either. Probably gotta go for their dinner menu, the food might be better then. Went to Coffee Club for drinks after that, where one of the girls "announced" something BIGGGG! ahaha ok la, more like I announced it for her. :P But anw i feel really really happy for you, (ALTHOUGH YOU SAID SO LATE), stay sweet and happy always k!! :) yayyy another one down! LOL :D Went to sing k with my parents after that, as a round-up for my birthday! Haha simple but the feeling was great <3 HAHA my dad was complimenting that I sing very well *coughcough* I used to be from choir okay! LOLLLL!

Had a really nice birthday this year, thanks for all the loveeee :)) And I love all my presents, thanks my dear friends!! May everyone be happy and healthy <3 Year-end is coming, the holiday mood is here!! :D

Whoops i haven't updated for like a zillion years! Haha not that life has been too busy to update, just that i am too LAZY to update!! Things always seem to snowball, until i don't feel like updating anymore.. But i still believe in blogging, so i shall try to update as much as possible! :)

It's been almost two months since i've started my new job, and i've already gotten my first pay, waiting for the second! :D Though it's really not alot, but I guess it's the experience that matters more; or at least that's what I tell myself hehe. Work has been challenging yet fun, tough yet fulfilling. Many happy moments, funny moments, angry moments, dont-know-what-to-do moments, but all in all, I'm lovin' it! <3

Alot of my friends and family have been curious abut my job, and whyyyyyy did i take it up. Haha they always ask me why don't I go into mainstream school to teach; better pay, and the children are (supposedly) easier to manage. Actually, I don't really have an answer to that too. It's just something that I've been wanting to try for sometime, that I think I have an interest in. Working with children is a definite for me, just in which sector, what nature of the job. I was thinking, since i want to work with children, why not those who needs special care? I would say it's related to psychology( a little la), and I can help those who are more in need. Just that the pay (at the moment) is rather low though, so I can say that I'm working now for my interest and not the money. :) Hmm not sure how long will I stay in this job though, maybe till i find that it becomes stagnant, when I find that it is time to move onto something else (or if some other unforeseen circumstances happens, hmm...) Haha oh well not going to think so much, just enjoy it first!

Glad that I have still been meeting up with friends occasionally, doing the things that I like. I'm really scared to enter in a new phase and lose the things/people that I used to have, but I guess not! :) And it's really these outings and gatherings with family and friends that are keeping me on, so that life doesn't get boring and meaningless with only work. Although my job really takes away quite abit of my energy level, and i just feel like sleeping and resting after work!! Hahaha but I believe it's just whether I want to or not, and I guess putting in that extra bit of effort would be worth it! :D

Going to turn 22 in a weeks time, argh time is passing sooo fast! I want to stay young alwaysssssss! now I must keep telling myself: 青春不要留白!! :)))

I've got a job I've got a job I'VE GOT A JOB!!!!! :D:D:D The whole process felt like a dream, feels so surreal! And everything happened so fast I was in a state of shock!!!! I sent in my resume at 1plus am on 23rd aug, and i received a call from them to go down for an interview in the morning around 10. Thank goodness my phone was turned on alr!! Wasn't expecting such a fast reply, considering the other 2 resumes that i sent out seems to be still stagnant...

I wasn't expecting much from this, considering that it's the first job interview in my life that i'll be going for. Was mainly planning to just get some interview experience from this, so i didn't give myself any added pressure. Of course, I still felt that tinge of nervousness and scared, cos I've always thought that interviews are like damnnn horrifying and nerve-wrecking!! When I peeped into the room and realised that I was about to be interviewed by FOUR people, i was honestly dreading it =x But to my delight they were all veryyyy nice and friendly, and though there were times that i stuttered abit here and there, it wasn't a bad experience. :) They seemed rather positive, and even asked me if i could start work next monday. I was like huhhh for real?!?!?! But yea apparantly so! They called me up the next morning (thank god again that my hp was turned on!!), and said that they want to offer me the position. When i put down the phone i was in a state of shock, partly also cos the call woke me up. HAHA was trying to keep the sleepiness out of my voice, pretend like i've been up hours before LOL. But it was a nice morning call i would say! :)

Honestly I'm rather thrilled to get this offer, cos it's really something that I'm interested in and have been wanting to try. Oh i didnt say what it was right? I'm going to be a teaching assistant to children with special needs! :) It's in a pre-school, but apparently there are still students up to 22 years old, those who can't join the mainstream schools. I can't be a teacher yet as i'm not qualified enough, so just an assistant at the moment. And sigh, which means that the pay is rather low. I'm trying not to complain though, shouldn't expect too much! I'm already happy enough that I'm given the chance to try this out, something that I have been wanting to. :) Have been considering whether to take it up for the past few days, and after much thinking and discussions, have decided to! The job will be a challenging one I'm sure, but yet satisfying and fulfilling i hope! I'm looking forward to the challenges, hope that i can rise up to them well!! :))

The sense of excitement and exuberance is bubbling up inside me, getting more as the days past. Will be starting work on Monday, oooh lala~~! It feels really really fast, like just a few days back the thought of working still seems so faraway. What to work as, where to work... and now, out of the blue, I'm going to start work soooooon! Moving onto a new chapter in my life, egggggggcited!! :D

Alright I'm sleepy already, gdnite!!!!

Was watching the soccer event for YOG just now. So disappointed! gahhhhh! Thought they played a good match against MNE, and i was so excited to see the young lions winning this match again. Oh well, just hope that they will be able to clinch the bronze medal at least!! :) It was soooo annoying to see the waste-time tactics of our opponents. They kept falling to the ground and clutching their legs, head, stomach, WHATEVER, WHENEVER. DISGUSTING CAN. It was so freaking obvious, the commentators were saying that no one would take them seriously if there was really a real injury. We understand that you want to drag for time, but don't have to be so obvious!! And why stoop to such fake, "underhand" antics. It happened like every 3 minutes or so, DAMN ANNOYING!!! So sad to see our team so demoralised after that, but oh well, i guess they can do better the next time! :)

Feeling so hot and sticky these few days, so uncomfortable!! Was walking around in the afternoon for tuition and errands, felt like i was going to burn and melt away soon. It's on such days that i really wish that Singapore would have 4 seasons!! But then again, the day that such a thing would happen would mean that our mother earth is going haywire, so haha better not then. I think the weather is also contributing to my not-so good temper these days, ahaha. I get so worked up at small things! Met a rather rude adult yesterday, and i was honestly rather pissed off. But oh well she's a distant relative of mine, so I can't really do anything also. grrrrrr!! Seriously, I can't stand adults who think they know everything, then talk like they think they can help, when they are actually not helping anything. Irritating can! stop trampling on my toes!!!

Hahaha dont't worry, be nice to me and i will be nice to you too!! (:

Back from KL for like 2 weeks already, officially slacking! Trip was fun anyway, and I really felt the meaning of "Shop till you drop"!!! hahaha! Had nice food, nice shopping, nice home stay and most importantly nice company!! Really thankful that we had uncle driver to bring us around, I realise getting around in malaysia is not all that convenient! And the worse thing is, you can't even use cabs as a last resort, cos they are not even a safe mode of transport. gahhhh! But it was a nice getaway!! :)

Sent some resumes out, still waiting for replies..Think it's time to send more out! I feel quite bad, cos I just don't seem to feel the sense of urgency. Hopeless haha! But it's definitely time to get a job, hope that i'll land on something that I really want sooooooon! :)

Was watching the Gymnastics event YOG, suddenly felt like being a sportswoman!! HAHA! Felt so nervous for the contestants, especially when they made blunders. I think it's really an awesome platform for the youths to showcase their talents, and probably to prepare them for the London Olympics. I loove to watch the swimming events, so exciting! Hope that Singapore can get our second medal today!! wheeee~

I have a new pair of PURPLE specs! Haha never expected myself to get purple specs, have never been a great fan of purple anyway. The black looked too strict and serious on me, purple looks much friendlier and younger hehe. It's the nerdy frames kind, so I think I look really nerdy in it! wahahhaa! No no scratch that, I meant INTELLECTUAL. HAHA :D

Borrowed some korean books, shall tryyyy to pick it up agn! Ever since like forever, hahaha! But at least I have my neighbourhood neighbour as companion now, yayyyy :D

Ahhnyong~!

对不起，谢谢.

i guess there's nothing much else left to be said?

take care ba! :)

I'm offffffffff to KL in a few hours time!!! YAYYY :D haha so excited about the shopping, and I'm sure it'll be fun with the girls and Mr Driver! :)) Going to throw all the unhappiness away, and just have fun!!

I felt the love from my friends these past few days <3 Everytime i am emo or down, there will always be people there for me. XIE XIE NI MEN! All those who have talked to me, heard me out.. I really really appreciate all the little words of concern and encouragement! :) Don't worry, Si Hui will be fine! :D

Haha what an upbeat post! I don't like to be emo-momo.. Ok it's time for me to finish up packing and go off to sleep! KL here i comeeeeeeeeeee! :))

I guess things have changed somehow...right? Although the irony is that i didn't plan for things to go this way, not yet. But i don't know, maybe things that are meant to happen just has to happen somehow, sometime?

Alot of things that i wanted to say, but just feel stuck all of a sudden. Shall share them again when the mood comes or something.


I really didn't mean to hurt anybody.
Be ok, okay? :)

I've realised, some things just don't seem to have an answer, just don't seem to have a solution, no matter how much you think about it. It's not like I've not tried, and it's not as if I didn't think about it; but i just don't know what I should do. Actually, to say that I'm not feeling stressed or pressurised would be telling a lie, cos I do. Maybe everything really started on the wrong footing? I don't know. Things don't always seem to go the way that we want them to go. :( I don't want to fool myself into thinking anything against my wishes, cos I know it will be unfair to all of us.

My friend told me, I'm choosing to hold on and not let go, is because 我害怕失去. I guess this is so true. 有些东西成了习惯之后，就会开始害怕失去. Afraid of losing the consistency, afraid of losing the chance. Even when the feeling doesn't seem right, even when I can't seem to see the light ahead, I'm still choosing to hold on. Have never been a decisive person since young, and I can't stand myself sometimes too. This feeling gets worse when I know it is affecting other people too, and I feel so so bad. Really. sorry. I understand how selfish it is, but I really have no idea what else to do at the moment.

But no matter what, thank you! :)) I somehow have the feeling that time is running out, don't know why too. Some self-imposed subconscious deadline? Maybe I should try to break into my subconscious level and see what I'm really thinking about, or maybe try to plant some idea into my head so I'll know what steps to take. HA.

Sorry for the above messy and probably meaningless thoughts. Just needed to rant. ROARRR!!!! Time to sleep now, BYEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee!

I want to blog! But i have so many thoughts in my head, so many things i want to say, so many feelings swimming within me, i don't know where to start from. Shall do this another time then?

ahahaha.

I Liese-d my hair again today!! hahaha! Tried a lighter colour than last time, so it looks a liiitle bit more obvious this time. I just wanted a little difference to my hair, but don't want to spend the money to go to a salon to dye it. HAHA okay i sound so cheapo lol. But at least my hair don't look sooo black now, looks a little brighter? hehe :) but HMMM my scalp is feeling a little itchy, hope that it is not sensitive or what... hmmmm!

Borrowed some books from the library; feels like i haven't done proper leisure reading for veryyyy long, it's really time to. Convocation is coming this monday, the deadline that i gave myself to slack is nearing.... SIGH it's time to face the world. 究竟世界的哪一个角落，会有我容身之处呢？
:)

Ohoh i saw a rainbow today!! Was on the bus to meet gp for our super impromptu singing session, HAHA! Anw the rainbow was a really nice one, so clear and vivid. Niceeeeee (:

Will be going to buy the clothes and shoes i need for convocation tmr, hopefully everything goes well and I can finish my shopping by tmr! Saturday and sunday will be busy this week, with performance and chalet. Busy but happy i guess!! :)) Really really hope that i won't screw up the performance in any way, dont want to 越帮越忙 >.<

Alrightyy off to sleep!! byeee!

of friendships...

Just came back from a very 温馨 outing with a7bees (as quoted from kj haha). It was really nice to catch up with old frens, though most of them i still contact quite often la. :) I think it's really really nice that we can all chat and share like old times, that although we may not meet each other often, the feeling is still there! I always feel that the frenship btw A7Bees is always so hmm...simple and pure, it's something that i really REALLY treasure! :) So if any of you are reading this, love youuuu!! hahaha (:

I was sitting on the toilet bowl yesterday, and i was just suddenly thinking about friendships. AHAHA talk about being random :P Actually, i think that i have been rather lucky about friendships. In my different stages of life, there have been different friends by my side. Although some came and left, there are still those who came and stayed. :) To be truthful, i didn't really know how to treasure friendships when i was younger. Probably as I get older, then i start to realise the importance and preciousness of friendships. When you are young, you seem to take everything for granted, you assume that the person will always be with you, the person will always be there. As I grew older, i came to the realization that that is not the case. You need to put in efforts, you need to show your appreciation. Despite that, i can proudly say that I've always treated friends with a true heart, and many a time i get a true heart back too! :))

I had a very very good friend when i was in primary school. We would always partner each other, go for recess together, play together..I went to her house many times to play, and we even bathed together!! (Probably the first and last friend that i would do that with? haha!) I still rmb the times when we did silly things tgt, got punished tgt; she really was someone that i could talk to about anything under the sun. However, after primary 6, we got into different secondary schools, and we got separated :( We still kept in contact by calling each other at first, and i think we still met up. However, as we each got busy with our own lives, we started to distance apart, and contacted each other less and less frequently...It got to the point when I'll only msg her happy birthday once in a year, and we didn't even meet up for a loooong time. There are times when i'll think back, and I'll feel sad about how we turned out. We met up once last year, but somehow, i felt that bigggg gap between us. I guess the years have just pulled us apart further and further. I don't know if we'll ever become good friends again, but no matter what i will always treasure the friendship we once had. She seems to be doing rather well now, and i sincerely wish her all the best. And it was also a lesson for me, that friendships need to be maintained.

Now that I'm moving onto a new journey and milestone in life, i wonder if the friendships i've had in school would change. Will we, as we start meeting less and contact less, get further and further from each other? :( Sometimes, i really dread changes, and goodbyes especially. sighh, why can't good times always last forever!!! Aiya i know la, life is all about moving on, about improving ourselves, about balances... We all have to grow up someday; no use lamenting about things that we can't control right?

Let me end this post with a simple but heartfelt message to all my friends reading this! No matter who you are, thank you for being part of my life, thank you for all the memories we've had together! :)) I'm thankful for all the light you've shone into my life, no matter how dim it may be. Please bear with all my faults, we will be friends forever okay? :D

Hahahaha okay la shall stop being mushy, IT'S TIME FOR BED! SAYONARA! :)))))

I...have always wanted to be a teacher. Since i was veryyyyy young, i think. I know it's such a boring dream to have, and so goody-two-shoes! haha but oh well i still really want to be one. I have tried out this career path, first during my 6 months of relief teaching, and my one month at metta student care centre. Both left me with great memories, and i really learnt and gained sooo much from my short period with the kids. I really miss the innocence of being around children, when everything seems to straightforward and simple, when you sense their genuine love towards you.

I still keep all the notes and drawings that students gave to me when i was relief teaching, suddenly had the urge to look through them again, after all these years... Looking at all the little notes and drawings from the children suddenly make me feel soooooo nostalgic *sob*. Guess they have all grown up; should be in primary 4 and 5 already. Honestly, relief teaching was such a beautiful memory to me, i am so thankful for the chance to experience it. Now thinking back, i was really really lucky. Although there were days that I was not needed, the school still asked me to go down everyday. Not that I would slack on those days, i would follow a teacher and sit behind the class to watch and learn. How many people get to sit in other teachers' lessons and watch them teach? :) I still remember the warm feeling of holding onto the hands of the children as i lead them, their little hands in mine. So trusting, so simple. :) But there were of course times when i had to FORCEFULLY hold the hands of the naughty kids, to ensure that they stay away fro trouble. HAHAHHA i always liked to see them grimace :P

I had no assigned class, which means i will go into different classes everyday. Although it meant lesser bonding, but the best thing was that all the students knew me! hahah i liked the feeling when students would randomly run up to me to talk or tell me things, and i still remember there was once when a few of them running up to me and said that another boy wanted to marry me. HAHAHA! it always felt so simple with them, and they are all MEGA cute. cuteness explosion!!!! :))

Actually, these are not what i wanted to blog about, ha. The main thing that led to my blog post here was my tuition lesson this morning. Was chatting with my tuition kid's father about her progress, and all i could do was to honestly say that she does not seem to be making any improvements. Honestly, i felt damnnnn guilty when I was telling him that, cos afterall that's what they got me here in the first place right- to help her improve. I was telling him, that she is very very careless, and that is what that causes her to do badly sometimes. I also feel that she is not trying hard enough, not yet giving her best which i feel could be much much better! Honestly, i am quite at my wit's end already. I have tried punishing, rewarding, scolding, nagging, joking, playing games, and still.... I feel so disappointed when my students tell me that they failed this or that, HOW CAN!!!! It's going to be a year teaching them, and yet no improvement. I'm trying to change my teaching methods to suit them, but..I haven't seem to find the best way yet. :( It's really time to start reflecting on my teaching i guess, whether I'm really cut out to be a teacher. I thought i could, i really thought so. How am I going to push them to do better? Or did i push them too much previously? SIGHHHHH.

Teaching has been like a goal in my life, something that I'm intending to do sometime in future. And with the good experiences i've had, they are also motivations to spur me on. But now, i'm stumped. If i can't even help 2 students, how am i going to handle a class in future? To be honest, i feel that the problem does not lie in me totally. My students really don't seem to be trying hard enough, always waiting for me to give them the answers. But it definitely takes two hands to clap, i can't push the blame entirely onto them yea. It's really time for me to start reflecting, and I'm quite thankful to the parents, for trusting me enough to continue teaching them. I definitely won't give up on them, but i think i still need more time to figure out what's the best for them. I believe they can do so much better, they have potential, just not shown out yet i guess. I really can't wait to see the day that they shine!! :)))

Alrighty it has been a looooong and tiring day today! tired!! time for bed! :)

寂寞光年刘力扬

寂寞光年-刘力扬

是谁从我天空摘走了星星
一转眼 眉头聚满乌云
从来快乐悲伤都自己横行
忘了我也值得被关心

一双手一个梦
一路上不断的俯冲
痛到忘了要怎么喊痛

漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过
我的世界是零下的沙漠
其实我也想要拥抱的温柔
融化这颗坚强的泡沫

漫长的等候让人特别失落
锋锐寂寞把天空都割破
还有谁能够紧握着我的手
陪着我期待消失的彩虹

是谁将阳光都剪成了雨滴
天灰了 快乐总有限期
从来都陷在孤独的流沙里
忘了我也配被人在意

一个人一直走看着梦像做了又空
精疲力尽有没有哪里可以停泊

漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过
我的世界是零下的沙漠
其实我也想要拥抱的温柔
融化这颗坚强的泡沫

漫长的等候让人特别失落
锋锐寂寞把天空都割破
还有谁能够紧握着我的手
陪着我期待消失的彩虹

那是谁的温柔留在我的小手
微不足道却那么重

漫长的寂寞把意志都吞没
整个世界是沉默的漩涡
有谁能陪我手牵着手出走
带我离开空洞的星球

还有什么值得追求
还有什么可以拥有
把怀抱借给我是不是就不再颤抖
有谁能带走这美丽的哀愁
能让我相信被爱的理由

习惯，有时是很可怕的东西吧。。

my mum was telling me that i take alot of things for granted. i know... So now i'm trying to change, force myself to be more independent, remind myself to stop procrastinating. Somehow sometimes when things become a habit, you expect it to be there always. You start to lose sight of how precious it may be. It's really time to not being so complacent!!

I'm beginning to understand, how 简单可以是幸福的. :) even a simple dinner with my family, a simple outing with my friends, i want to treasure every moment. honestly, i realise when i think this way, there are manyyyyyy things in life worth to be happy about!! :)) I guess it's really not all that difficult to be happy, alot depends on yourself!

Hope that everyone reading this will be a happy person too!! :D do treasure all the little moments in life, and be grateful for everything in your life. Be it the good, the bad. I guess the tougher obstacles in life are there to make us grow, to become stronger individuals. so...just be HAPPY! :)))))))

abrupt ending to this random post! hahaha dont care la!

I was feeling better already, until i saw cy's email! Haha(: but it was really nice of you to send that, i looove to receive such heartwarming msges, and so sincere!! Honestly, when i read to your last sentence, my eyes were also brimming with tears.. (: It's quite shocking when reality hits yea; that we'll no longer be school mates cum faculty mates cum major mates. Thank you for letting me know that I have at least made a mark in your life, that there are memories between us worth cherishing. (: (: (: Actually we've known each other for veryyyyy long already right? almost 7 years? I'm really glad to get to see you more often and get to know you better in NUS! It's always funny to hear u go "tsk!", HAHAHA! And i'll rmb how close your tastes are to my mother, HAHAHAHA! :P Okay la, you know i'm just joking right! :D

I'm really really glad to have the group of you girls with me in NUS, so at least I know I'm not alone. Of course there are definitely times when I was alone, going for tutorial alone, studying in the lib alone, walking around alone, ahahahaha but at least I didn't feel so alone :) Actually, i dont think we are like super duper close or what, but I guess you dont need to be very close to enjoy each other's company! Actually over the years, we've accumulated quite alot of memories tgt ehh! Especially with gp and celia, my 2 bestest psych buddies!! :D

Was listening to my ipod and i suddenly came across 2 lines that i felt was sort of reflecting how i feel now...

"sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere,
don't know which way to go"

don't worry I'm not emoing again! :) Just thought it sounded apt to my life. And i was sitting alone at an unknown busstop at Punggol at 9plus at night, waiting for the bus that never seemed to be arriving... so so apt... hahaha.

OH YEA SS501 has got a new song!!! niceeeeeeee!! haha go listen it's my blog song okay!! hehehe!

Alrighty I'm going to stop here for tonight! sweet dreams all!! (:

Suddenly feeling emo, for i dont know what stupid reason. Don't really like this feeling, but it just seemed to engulf me all of a sudden... And when I am in an emo mood, there seems to be a thousand and one things that I feel I can emo about. I guess a blog is probably not the best place to rant about, but i always find it therapeutic to share my thoughts here. :)

Actually I think I'm quite a cheerful and optimistic person most of the time, but i guess we all have our moods at times.. And i realise i have nothing much to write, cos the feeling just doesn't seem to have a reason. Haha. I'm not making much sense here am i. Trying to make my brain BLANK, so I can clear it of unhappy thoughts! :) I think I should just go to bed early, rather than wasting time here thinking about what is making me emo. HAA.

SiHui will be fine again tmr! :)) goodnite all, pardon this random entry!!!!

It's been agesssssss since I've last updated; almost 3 weeks!! It has been a happening cum slacking 3 weeks, hahaa. Of cos, the most happening thing that happened was THE KOREA TRIP!!! WHOOO!! hahaha!

Had lotsa fun there, took many many photos too!! :)) It was so relaxing, just following the tourguide around, not having to worry about anything, except whether we were going to be late! haha talking about that, it's really AMAZING how the other tour members (all around 40 years old and above btw) ALWAYS manage to be faster than us. Even when we are just sightseeing and walking, they always manage to be ahead of us. They will also be there on time or before the stipulated time, and even during toilet breaks, the 5 of us will still be the last. VERY AMAZING. hahaha! I wonder are we just toooooo slow for words, but honestly sometimes we will try to rush abit, but still...... hahaha i still rmb how happy we will be if we realised that we were the first, although eh, it doesnt happen too often LOL.

Oh but, one of the good things i guess that came out of us being sooo slow was that we had a photographer who will look out for us! hahah not that we were intentionally slow okay, not that mean haha. But the photographer was a really really nice person who would watch out for us, and we were saying that he always appeared at the right moments! Every time when we get lost or can't find the rest, "POP" he would appear! He always had this yellow hand with him, that he would wave around to get our attention, so we called him THE HAND. hahaha! I'm not trying to be gaga over him, but he really does have a nice smile, and i guess he was our eye candy for the days with him! haha! too bad he doesn't really understand english, so we couldn't communicate very well with him. But oh well, it was still quite funny cos we'll always switch to broken english to talk to him. hahaha!

Got to know very nice "aunties" and uncle from the tour, they are all so nice to us, and bear with us when we are late! :)) they always take good care of us too, watching out for us, esp aunty jenny and aunty lay choo! The both of them are soo cute tgt, and they always crack us up!! :D And the last two days when THE HAND was no longer with us, they became the ones that watched out for us. Well, it's quite surprising though, that the tour guide would always walk on and on without checking to see if anyone was left behind. She wasn't very professional throughout the trip, not watching out for us, and not giving us very good descriptions of the places that we were visiting. Actually what irked me more was that whenever we were on the bus travelling, she didn't seem to put much efforts into introducing, whether was it Korea as a whole, or just the sight-seeing places. But to a certain extent i was glad of that too, cos I had the chance to sleep and listen to my ipod. Hehehe. I hateeeeeeeee tourguides that go on and on and on and on, and i stil rmb when i went Taiwan, the tourguide even played old old chinese songs DAMN LOUD on the bus when she was not talking, which i really found torturing. Not that I refuse to appreciate, but sometimes it's good to have some personal "mental" space aye. Haha so I guess I didn't feel much dislike towards her, unlike the rest. Honestly, by not letting her affect me, it didn't really affect my holiday mood! :) Actually, i would say i learnt some korean culture from her too! Her life is really really happening! haha!

Life's been boringggg since I've been back, and i CANNOT STAND the weather in spore!! ROARRR!!! freaking warm! Korea's weather was NICE, cold but yet comfortable. No sweat, no stickiness :) and i miss having to wear a jacket!! haha!

I really had alot of fun and laughter and nice memories from this trip! Thanks to the girls! I was at first a little apprehensive, cos I was really scared that we might have some unhappiness here and there. Afterall, it's not really easy to face someone for 8x24 hours a days continuously without any glitches rite? But heheh everything turned out fine! at least to me la uh :)) Somehow i feel that we complement each other to a certain extent, so things went smoothly. And many thanks to the girls for looking out and taking care of each other too! I really miss the carefree times during the trip, and all the random happiness. haha :) Many thanks to THE FOUR OF YOU for making my grad trip so fun and enjoyable!

Other than volunteering to help out a prof with his research, making home visits to children's homes, nothing much interesting in my life now! Haha i will get down to seriously finding a job soooon, but not yet la, i still want to relax!!!! i want more timeeeee! haha :)

alrighty it's getting late! i took superrr long to write this post, cos i keep getting distracted in between! haha.. nites all!! :))

haha haven't been updating since i've finished my exams!!! but yea, ALL DOWN :D graduating! wowwwwww uh.

have been in the slacking mood since exams ended, am now happily waiting for my korea trip!! :)) so exciting and happy!!

haha ok short random post! i shall go off to bed now, blog another time properly!

tired but happy (:

4 DOWN, 1 LEFT.

yayyy :D

I HATE EXAMS. :(

am blogging this 5 hours after my first paper, and it SUCKED!:( SIGHHH so traumatizing! After all the mugging, I dont think i will do well. that's life ain't it? Sometimes i really think that I'm numbed to it already, ever since i came into uni. Hahah *sad smile* Oh well, let it not scare me for the rest of my papers; it shall just be a motivation for me to work EVEN harder :) And to all those who haven't taken their papers yet, don't worry too much! things would be fine! I always manage to survive somehow, albeit not that gracefully, ahaha =X

just heard "careless whisper" on the radio, niceeeee! It's always damn SHUANG to hear it play on the radio, even though i have it in my ipod and i can listen to it anytime i want, LOL. It's an oldie that I never seem to get sick of! :) Remember hearing it for the first time on Chao Ji xing Guang Da Dao, and it caught my ears.. I love nice songs! (:

Health psych paper up next, gogogo!!

ROARRRRRRRR! I find it so hard to absorb all the stuff that I need to, how how how!!! The stress is mounting... time is running out... STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! :( PID exam at 9am on saturday, hope i'll manage to finish studying everything by then =X

On a happier note, I finally got a new phone!!! :) So happppppppy! It's uber cute and pretty, it's the lollipop phone! AHAHA! It's meaningful to me cos it's the first phone that I've ever bought!!!! Yea yea i know it's quite unbelievable..My previous phones were either given to me by my relatives, or $0 from Singtel, not of my choice! So THIS is the first phone that i've had by choice, and I'M LOVING IT!! :D


TADAH~~!!!! my love now<3
It's a korean-made phone, and it can type korean!! HAHA i'm so bringing it to Korea!!! Have been wanting a flip phone since ages ago, but none of them caught my eye.. I realised that Korean dramas often use flip phones, guess they are the norm over there? It's sooo hard to find a nice flip phone here, but finally finally :)

Alright enough gushing about my new phone, it's time to hit the books! (AGAIN, groannnnn). concentrate concentrate!!!!

Love is Punishment - KWill

Perhaps if I have never encountered you, it would have been the best
If I had need been living in another world
If I had need to become strangers in life
It will not have been left with this inflicting pain in my heart

Each day & each day forgetting you
Each day & each day abandoned you
In the midst of my heart deeply concealing something that I can't really openly shout about of my love

It seems all along I have always thought that love was bliss & happiness
Unable to beyond words that love is heaven's render punishment
I just have to love you & my heart will shiver & tremble
This is just living by wiping off tears

My mind I have already forgotten you
My speech I have already forgotten you
Occasionally drinking to drunken stupor
But afraid that I will utter my love for you
Really fear that

It seems all along I have always thought that love was bliss & happiness
Unable to beyond words that love is heaven's render punishment
I just have to love you & my heart will shiver & tremble
This is just living by wiping off tears

Dream will I able to love you ?
Crying & weeping to my sleep
Awake, each day return to that of the former

Love is to love you
When you aren't around, stealing mutter to say i love you
Afraid that when you heard that, you will run away
Obscure silence inadvertently in loving you

(credits http://www.nautiljon.com/paroles/k-will/love+is+punishment.html)

Will be going to KOREA for grad trip instead of taiwan, WHOOHOO!! :D :D Not that I am not happy to go tw, just that KOREA seems to be an even better choice! The number of days that we will be going is the same, the price is about the same, just that we will be going on tour and everything will be planned nicely for us! :) Think all of us were in a state of shock when we booked on Sunday, cos the idea of going KOREA just popped out suddenly, whilst all along we had been planning for tw. But no need for all the hair-pulling planning anymore, yayness! The trip will be from 19-26th May, around $1300 each, following Focal Travel agency. I will be going with Celia, Gui Ping, Ying Ying and Zhi Min;and we'll be in odd number! Thought it would be better to have even number of people going, hopefully at least one more person will be able to join us? hahaha! My dear friends reading this, if you are interested to come along let me know okay! (:

That is going to be a motivation for me during this mugging period, I get so happy and excited thinking of it! :) Am so into Korean culture nowadays, it's soooooo wonderful to be able to visit the country! Actually I ever toured KOREA with my family when I was in primary 5, which was like 10 years ago?! Wasn't into their culture then, and my memories of the trip are rather blurred...hehe. Shall take manymanymanymany pictures this time round, but not so sure about the shopping though. Think things should be rather expensive there uh...

My last exams in NUS, shall do my best! gogogo!

feeling a little emo and moody and sad and unwilling, but i will be fine soon (:

one of my fave english songs now...on replay mode

Just one last dance

gdnites all! jiayou for this mugging period!! (:

15.04.2010.

TODAY WAS MY LAST DAY OF SCHOOL.



byebye.
:(

yayy end of all my assignments for this semester!! handed 2 reports on tuesday, slept like only 3 hours the night before! but I'm so glad it's all done, my last assignments in NUS! Into studying mode now, but still have the urge to treasure every last moments that I have in this school :) Took many random shots today, of random places, with random memories... It's such a weird feeling to graduate, honestly. A mixture of happiness, sadness, anxiousness, apprehensiveness, insecure, excited.....

Have been planning and researching for grad trip to taiwan, but nothing's really decided yet! Hope to at least get the dates and the number of people going latest by next week! I guess this will be part of my motivation as I study :))

Have an 8am tutorial tmr, shall go off to bed now! Annyonghi jumushipsiyo!(googled that, hope it's correct! :P)



有些感觉，以为已经淡忘了， 但再次提起才发现， 原来还在心里。。。

Finally have some time to update, shall talk about Quintessence 2010!!! This year's songs were definitely more challenging, but yet i feel more touching. At least to me :) my faves were definitely those before the interval, but i guess those after the interval were more able to showcase our skills?

3 days before the actual day, we had a rehearsal at the UCC. It was more fun this time round cos I stayed over at kj's room! (again! ooops haha :P) Our rehearsal started at 12pm, went on all the way to 10pm. Although we didn't have to practice the whole time, but somehow I just felt tired! By the time we were finished with the dry run for the whole concert, my back was aching and my butt was hurting! lol!

Took shuttle bus back with ky, and the BLUR(as usual) her brought me to take the wrong bus! haha!! we had to get down and wait for another bus, but at least we reached our busstop in the end, HAHA. Met some CO ppl for supper, thanks to enoch for the treat! :) OH and I realised, LIME JUICE and CHEESE together tastes like VOMIT. Hahaha totally grossssssss!!! =X But the supper was nice overall la! And supper was fun with all the crapping and gossips! LOL! I think, co ppl are like SUPER gossipers, regardless of gender! I suspect all our times at pracs are spent sniffing out for gossips, HAHAHA! Too bad that I have to leave just as co life gets more happening, Sigh! But these gatherings and activities really make me enjoy and treasure my last sem in school even more, and I feel that I can look back at the memories and smile :) HTHT with kj after that, and girl always remember that things are never too late ok! And also, better late than never :) It’s good that you give thought to things,persevere!!!!!!


ok fast forward to the concert! it was like a mass photoshoot session before going up onstage, hahaha! Kept taking photos, and photos and photos :D Mr Lum always say, it's useless to keep practicing in the moments just before going on stage, so I guess i just gave up practising and enjoyed myself!! hehehe :) I still rmb the moments just before going on stage, when we are all waiting at the backstage. Every year, i will feel the urge to pee HAHAHA, cos i always feel sooo nervous!! I hate the waiting! And this year, due to some reasons, our performance started late, i think 20minutes past the actual time. I really find it a torture to sit around and watch the clock ticking by, wondering when will we go out. But I must say it's super exciting to hear the murmuring from the crowd, to know that there are loads of people waiting for us to perform!! :D So fun!


Overall, i would say that the concert was a BLAST! Everything went rather smoothly and well :) There were some glitches here and there, but aiya, part and parcel of performances! Who doesn't EVER screw up? There was one part that I suddenly felt SUPER touched, the moment when our soloist turned back to bow to us. Honestly, I could feel the tears coming to my eyes. I don't know why too, but I guess felt the sincerity behind that bow? So glad that we didn't screw things up for him, so glad that all his efforts went well! I just had this thought that everyone's efforts did not go down the drain, all our hard work was paid off in that thank-you bow. Not just for the solo song definitely, but everything!! I guess it was just the 点 of the moment, and I suddenly felt the bond between the orchestra. SERIOUS OK!it was a very WOAHHH moment for me :)) Oh and when xt went up on stage to present the flowers, super duper sweet!!!!! My friend said they looked shy, heheh!


I probably tell myself this every year, but this time i really REALLY think that it will be my last ANNUAL performance with NUSCO! REALLY!!! HAHAHAHAHA! Doubt I will come back as an alumni, BUT THEN AGN, impossible things did become possible, so I shall not say too much about it anymore! LOL. Even I myself feel sheepish when I tell others that yea I'm performing AGAIN. :D No matter what, NUSCO left me with alot of memories, and stage experiences that I will never forget. <3


I'm left with the last week of school, the last week of lessons before i graduate!!! OMGGGGGGGGGGG!!! I'm going to bring my camera around with me for the remaining days, and snap pictures of anything, everything! So muchhhhhhh memories in NUS! And i know this is cliche, but I just want to say, I'm proud to say that I am from NUS :))

Today is an emo-momo, grey thursday...
And it is not totally because of the rainy grey skies...

I don't really know what is the best thing to say, what is the best thing to do, but I will just be here whether you need someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, or just if you need someone beside you ok :)

Cheer up, try to think of happier thoughts, happy memories.. The end is not just the end, it is the beginning of something new, something more exciting!! You have your friends with you, we will be there for you if you need us! I know it's a tough time now, be strong ok? :)

I will blog properly about the concert soooooon! the wonderful awesome memory :)) Have 2 reports to rush out by tmrw, panicking soon!!!! argh.

Time will heal all wounds, that's what I heard...Just hope that no matter what changed, the friendship will not change...

it. is. THE. DAY.!!! finally!!! whoohooo EXCITED!!! Hahaha im sure it'll be a wonderful concert, wishing us all the best for later! :))

I can't seem to upload fluffy's photos here! Annoyed. But anw i've put them up on fb, so you can just check them out thr! really cute!! :D

am supposed to be doing up a report assignment now, but i find myself spending more time listening to songs and playing bejeweled on facebook than doing it, hahaha. I think I am usually more focused only as the deadline draws near, which is a bad bad thing! Shall really try to clear the assignment soon! Have 2 deadlines on 26th March, jiayoujiayoujiayou! :)

Suddenly rmb that I gotta email my tutor for a make-up tutorial, gotta go for full dress rehearsal on thurday, gonna miss 1 tutorial and 1 lecture!! oh might as well promote the concert here, just to do my little part as a nusco member muahaha...

NUS Chinese Orchestra will be performing our annual concert on 21st March 2010 (Sunday), 8 pm at University Cultural Centre (UCC)!!!! It's called

Quintessence 三月天《汇》

Tickets are sold at $21, $17 & $13(inclusive of SISTIC fee), but there will be a 20% discount if you get it from any nusco member, or ME! (:

cut and pasted the following from our facebook event, haha lazy to type :P

"三月天《汇》Quintessence highlights the diversity of Asian culture and the endurance of its traditions amidst globalization. Carefully picked to delight the audience, the concert program offers a range of traditional and contemporary melodies, from 《瑶族舞曲》Dance of the Yao Tribe to 《大地回春》The Return of Spring by Gu Guanren.

A newly commissioned composition, Sketches of the City, will also be making its premiere. Created by Singaporean composer Phoon Yew Tien, it gives traditional Asian music a facelift by incorporating some of your favourite mobile phone ringtones. A showcase of Asian music at its best, 三月天《汇》Quintesssence aims to challenge the notion that traditional music and culture can never keep up with the times."

Can go check out our facebook page too! Do come down to join us in the fun and immerse yourself in the musical atmosphere!! :):):) I personally think that the choice of songs this year are rather good, and some are rather challenging too! so be there to watch us as we challenge our limits, HAHAHA :))

And this SHOULD be my last annual concert with nusco, although i know i said this last year hahaha :P I am already thankful enough for the additional year in nusco, for the additional sweet and good memories. I am really really glad I didn't leave last year, really really glad I went for the Poland trip, and really really glad I get to perform once more. I'm happy enough already (: The third year in nusco has definitely been the happiest and most happening year! Getting to know so many more friends in nusco is really an additional bonus, BIG BIG bonus! to realise that CO people are not that dao and unfriendly afterall HAHAHA :D Still rmb how yy and I kept contemplating to leave co after year 1, when we really felt super bored and not bonded with the cca at all. It's a different thing now, and I'm glad to take away so much with me, really so much :)

shall end this post here on a nostalgic note... haha :) oh oh I just feel like saying this to my nusco friends reading this; we must ENJOY the concert no matter what ok! :D I feel that the most impt thing when we are up there is just to put ourselves into the music, and make it the most enjoyable and pleasant experience. Don't give ourselves too much pressure, don't let any unhappiness sour the memories! Let's all put our best in for the final lap!! Looking forward to a BLASTING concert!! :))

I used to be scared of dogs, like really scared! I will be near to freaking out when i see unleashed dogs roaming around on the streets, especially those homeless huge dogs. And I would SIAM if any dog came near me, even if they were leashed! I remember detouring once when i saw this really HUGE dog sitting in the middle of the path that I was walking on, and it wasn't leashed!! Dogs are cute, definitely, but somehow I used to think that if they did not like my smell they might bite me. And how would I know if the dog would not like me! So I chose to stay far away from them, muahaha!

However, ever since FLUFFY came to stay at my house, I'm not scared of dogs anymore!!!! :DD Or at least, not so scared! I still remember the very first time when my uncle suggested leaving fluffy at my house as he had to go overseas, I kept telling my parents "NO!" I believed that dogs are very loyal to their owners, and I was really afraid that fluffy might attack us when his owner is not around. But I'm soooooooooooooo glad that my parents still (ignored my protests) agreed to let fluffy come!! :DDDD I was really worrying too much la, fluffy is super duper uber mighty very extremely CUTE!!!!! hahah and he is really quite well-behaved, except we dont understand why does he like to pee and poo everywhere around the house! grr!!

He has stayed over my house for 3 times, and the very last time he stayed for about a month! it's really wonderful to have him around, though he does make quite a bit of noise sometimes! :X My uncle says that's because he gets territorial, and wants to protect his "territory". ahaha! Whenever we hit him when he misbehaves, his ears go down in a very cute way! HAHAHA i'm not being sadistic la, but he really looks very funny with his ears down! He will also run when we give chase, and u just don't have the heart to hit him anymore! LOL :))

FLuffy is also a very affectionate dog;he lovesss company and loves to sit very near us. Whenever he sees me preparing to leave the house, he will start to whine and bark, and "bite" my clothes. hahaha! He will also like to sit on our feet, literally plonking himself ON our feet, DAMN CUTE! :D He will also take turns to follow me and parents around the house, and especially if he hears us opening the fridge, he will RUSHHHHHHHH to the kitchen immediately. HAHA DAMN CUTE! :D And he is so clumsy, either slipping on the floor, or rolling down a step, or knocking against the cupboard, or banging against our legs, HAHAHA!

Aiya he is has sooooooo many cute antics i will probably take ages to write everything out! But aiya u get the gist! :)) I'm missing him now, sighhhhh :(( Think my uncle is really really lucky to get fluffy, with such a cute and friendly temperament!!

wanted to upload some photos i took of fluffy, but there seems to be some prob, and I can't!! grrrr!! next time then!! :)

这个学期，感觉自己有成长了。
以前会生气的事，现在不会了。
以前会发脾气的事，现在不会了。
以前会complain的事，现在不会了。
以前不会想的事，现在会了。 ：）

或许是因为要毕业了吧，总感觉自己的心境一直在改变。。。说真的，毕业的感觉不好！！ ：（ 很茫然，很没有方向感。 有时候真的觉得很慌，很慌，很慌！！！！真的好想现在看到自己五年后会在哪里，做什么。。。。

----------------------
don't ask me why did i suddenly type in chinese, i have no idea too..hahah just had the urge suddenly. Is that even my first time typing in chinese? hahaha but somehow typing in chinese gives me the emo feel, i guess chinese words hold more meaning than mere alphabets :)

I actually had alot of things that I wanted to type here, but they have just seemed to fly outta my head. BLANK. maybe i shld just come back here another time when I've thought of them, ahaha! Anw have a tutorial tmr at 8am, and it's almost 1am now already! prob my brain's hinting to me to hit the sack, haha. shall follow the hint then, gdnites all!!!! (: have sweet dreams ok!

Hahaha just a short update!! this week is busyyyyy, will find time to update after everything ok! (: Recess week just passed by in a flash!! CNY was fun i guess, but busy too! Had to do report, and mug for mid terms... To all those still reading this, GOOD LUCK for your midterms and assignments!! Jiayou jiayou!! :))

Weather's been SUPER DUPER HOT these days!! arghhh! make me feel so warm and uncomfortable! Hope it starts to turn cool soooooon.

Ohh and Fluffy went home on saturday :(((((( After about a month!! I miss him!!! He soooooo lovable <3<3<3 think my friends will also agree right! *wink* haha alrighty gotta zoom off to study for PID test on wed! argh!


this feeling's just so weird

My holidays have officially started!!! Yeahh, HOLIDAYS... so annoying that our recess week is falling on the chinese new year period!!! grrrrr!! have to study for midterms, do project, and term reports!!!! abit dampening to the festive mood!! But oh well shall still enjoy CNY!! :D i super loveee the feel of CNY, the whole country always seems to be so jolly and happy heh heh :))

Stayed over at kj's room on tuesday after dazu with cp and yy, we did BAKING!!! :DD my (sorta) maiden attempt at baking, if you don't consider home econs in sec sch last time la hahaha. We started ard 10 plus, only finished at 5am!!!!!!!! superrrrrrr tiring!!! It started out really fun and enjoyable, but I really got so tired after about 3am, it wasn't that fun already! hahaha! aiya but it was fun doing with the girls, with alot of funny incidents happening here and there! lol! but i guess we all agree that baking is an UNGLAM thing to do wahahaha! i think we really looked so shagged by 5am! we only managed to talk a little bit and we went off to bed! I think i fell asleep once my head touched the pillow HAHAHA :)) was supposed to meet jf at 1130 to donate blood, but really couldnt manage to wake up on time. SORRY!!!! Anw am so proud of our end products!! they are really not the best, and definitely not perfect, but they are made with love by us hoho!! :)) Didn't really manage to make alot to go ard all my frens though, and i regret not thinking abt bringing nice packaging to pack the cookies nicely to give others!! :(( nvm if we do bake another time (hahahaha!) i will prepare nice packaging to give to others!! :)) got some compliments about the end products though, yayy! :)

I finally went with jf to donate blood today!! :) FINALLY!! oh to digress abit, i learnt sth new today!! all cabs charge the same, except those that are BLACK in colour! they are the more high class ones, so DONT take! no point!! oh well, it was an expensive lesson though, cos I overslept today past the time that i was supposed to leave hse, so decided to cab down to sch!! :( When i went to the taxi stand, there were no cabs there. all of a sudden this toyota wish cab reversed from i dunno where, and parked right in front of me. (It's those kind of 7-seater cab anw). I didn't dare to get up, cos I was really scared that it would be more expensive! Then i pretended not to see it HAHAHA, and i could sense the taxi driver looking at me, until the guy behind me was like "errr excuse me, u can get on the taxi". I was asking him whether there's extra charge and he was saying that it should just be normal cab fare. Decided to double check with the driver, and he told me too that yeaa his is just normal cab fare charge LOL. The nice taxi driver told me that all cabs have the same charge, except for the totally black ones. I think mercedes cab only charges like a few cents more upon getting on the cab, and that's all right? ohhh and i also learnt that the surcharge is from 7am to 930am frm monday to friday! so yeahh i had to pay 35% of the taxi fare cos i got on the taxi ard 9.. SIGH. money flew out of my pocket due to my bad habit of not waking up AGN. ok wow that was a long digression HAHAHA!

so! met jf at mpsh 4, and it was brave jf's first time donating!!! :)) I rmb i was so nervous on my first attempt. lucky there was cy with me at that time! and elvin ng HAHAHAHA! :P so glad that everything went smoothly for the both of us, and jf was so BRAVE to continue with donating even though the nurse told her tt it's likely tt her hand would be bruised, and she can choose to donate 3 weeks later instead. awwww so nice uh! :) and we were saying that one of the side effects of donating blood was neck aches!!! HAHAHAHA okok just a joke that only both of knows la uh, joking la, not true ok!!! :D I always feel the satisfaction after donating, although it's only the 2nd time i've done it. Will prob try to donate at the blood banks next time, it feels good to know that you can save life by doing a simple deed! :)) amazing!

tmr there will be ppl coming my hse to do some fibre point thingy in my home, hmm it's supposed to be an upgrade to the current broadband to "ultra-high speed network"! haha... not really sure abt it but i guess everyone will start getting the mail frm the govt, so watch out for it yeah! The installation's free now, so if you dont sign up within the given time period, you will need to pay for it in future!

okok off to enjoy my hols! hahah :))

Life's been rather boring lately, just school and lessons..oh and FLUFFY!!! hahaha! He's over at my house now, sooooooo freaking cute!! Uncle's in vietnam, so fluffy's only going home on sunday. But i think he's coming over during chinese new year again, so yayy! :)) ohh fluffy LOVESSSS to drink HL milk, everytime i take the carton out from the fridge he jumps around in circles NON-STOP, and makes those excited noises. HAHAHAHA damn cute! So I can't drink it without him drinking it too, when you sense his excitement you just can't bear not giving it to him. LOL. (but anw, my mum bought the milk specially for him and not me!! pffffft AHAHAHAHAHA!)

Went to watch Puccini's La Boheme yesterday night at Esplanade, it's an italian opera! Haha I went for it for the sake of writing up the music report for my music mod; was rather hesitant at first cos it's honestly not the genre that I would usually watch. It was only because the lecturers wanted us to watch sth exotic, concerts that we wouldn't usually choose to go for. Went tgt with yy, and haha thanks to her for being rather insistent on watching it? hahaha :P Anw it was an enjoyable experience, and i really enjoyed the show!! It's an opera with 4 acts, so it's like a musical, with people acting and singing. Was afraid that I wouldn't be able to appreciate the opera singing at first, but surprisingly I liked their singings! hehehe :) There were english and mandarin subtitles, to help the audience follow through the whole play. The story was simple though a little cliche, the typical sad love story. I would give it a 8.5/10! There were just some parts that went through a little fast, and I couldn't really get what was happening. But i'm glad we stepped out of our "comfort zone" to watch something more exotic! Makes me more acceptable of different genres of concerts now, so I guess the report did serve it's use! hahah! :)

Will be taking a 全家福 photoshoot with my extended family on saturday, am looking forward to it!! Still wondering if I should temporarily curl my hair, do sth a little different? Just worried that the effect would not turn out nice, and would spoil the picture instead. HMMM i'll see how! My uncle keeps emphasizing on the importance of this photoshoot, cos it's one of the biggest wishes of my ah ma :)) Yayy we can finally fulfil it!! It going to be one big precious photo, can't wait to see the final photo!! :D Hope I can look my very best that day! wheee!

Have class later at 4, byeeee! listen to my blog song OKKKKK!!! hahaha :D

It's friday agn!!! yayy! :) Haha wanted to blog, but it's getting late and i'm tired to think.. just want to share a song that I was listening to on my ipod on the way to sch!! It's not a new song, but somehow the lyrics caught my ears, and I realise they are written quite well! The melody is niceeeeee too!!

全世界都停電 by Tank

連你都會殘忍隔絕 我的心能要誰了解

眼中燭光搖晃著熄滅

為何把我推向邊緣 被砸壞了的一切

卡住了我讓我無法往前

囚禁在距離笑聲最遠的房間

單獨隔離 寂寞地盤旋


全世界都停了電 全世界都封了街

我所有窗子外面 被貼上黑夜

我吶喊思念 卻沒人聽見

絕望到極點剩的是疲倦


全世界都停了電 全世界白雪滿天

才發覺在我心間 有回憶碎片

一作夢翻身 就刺痛流血

我卷著身體縮成一個圈 像一個句點

Listen ok! :)

It's my free day today, yayyy! :) I love the feeling of not having to go to school!! Somehow, this semester feels like a hectic and stressed one, hope that I will survive through it well!!!!

Went to Sentosa last Sunday with my family to check out the new hotels, they look good!! They were not done up well yet, so it's not really fair to judge, but i must say that they look potentially great!! Too bad we could only stand outside the casino, not allowed to go in. Oh but there's this room called "ATM hall" just outside the casino, which as you can guess, has all the different atms of banks in Singapore!!! HAHAHA imagine the amount of cash that would be transferred from here over to the casino, whoooooo... If only I could have 1% of the money, JUST 1% will do!!!! HAHAHA! After checking out the hotels, went to try the 4D magix game which we didn't manage to play the last time. Hahaha I think my uncle was really excited to try this :P It was FUN anw!!!!! Although a little scary, cos you never know wad to expect!! I screamed quite a few times, especially when the crabs came out, and when the bees came flying towards me!!!!!!!!!ahhhh!!!!!! hahah you gotta experience it to get what I'm saying, but I must say it's FUN!! :) It's a little ex though, $18 per person, for about 15 mins i think... There were 9 of us, so hmm you can imagine how much it cost...

Was actually very tired that day, as I had to wake up early in the morning to teach tuition at 8!!!! 8!!!!!!!So freaking early, but no choice as my tuition kid's family had to take some family photo thingy. Lucky my parents drove me there, or else I would have to wake up even earlier, confirm late!! :P When i reached my student's house, she was still brushing her teeth, and she looked totally like she just woke up, HAHAHAHA! Very cute and funny, cos she was like rushing around looking very blur!! I very nearly fell asleep at some points during the tuition, but i think i managed to stay awake; pure determination.

Iffffffff something didn't happen the previous night, I could have slept earlier, and I would probably have felt more awake!! HAHAHA! It was such an impromptu and sudden thing, I'm still a little amazed at what happened. (okok not as high as that night already!!!) For those of you who knows, you know. For those who doesn't know, you will know when the time is right!! hahaha! Don't worry, it nothing bad, and it's not about me!! :) Don't ask ok! will tell when it is ok to do so :) Honestly I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep that night, but I managed to in the end, too tired!! haa! I have no idea why was I so excited, super high lor! Aiya, just hope that I did do the right thing at that moment..

Tutorials are going to start next week!! Horrors of horrors, I'm going to have an 8am tutorial every tuesday!!! Really hope that I can be there on time, the teachers are really strict about punctuality :S It already seemed to be the best choice, compared to the other tutorial slots that were available to me. Will then have a break from 9-12, aloneeeeeeee!! :( Thanks to dear kj who offered to accompany me!! (HAHaha i know you will see this) If you can't it's really ok la, I can understand!! You can just meet me when you want to :) I really really appreciate it alooooooot!! thx my dear!! :)

Just feel a little overwhelmed, as my tuesdays will be reallyyyyyy long and packed!! EVERY WEEK! At least until the end of CO pracs. 8am tutorial, 12pm music tutorial, 3pm music lecture, and co prac at night all the way till 10. ARGHHH. my tuesdays are gonna be packed with music!! haha!!

Ooooook, moi shall make use of my free time now and go start studying! byeeeeeeeee people!!

aiya, have given up on my previous blogskin! I loved it, but somehow it never seems to appear nicely on the webpage. arghh :( Nvm, a new year, a new feel, a new beginning!! haha :)

Yesterday night seemed to be an emo momo night!!! Sighhs. Why does everything suddenly seem to be coming together now? And it seems that so many of my frens are a little down these days. I feel for them, but yet I can't seem to do anything to help them. I hope, just being there to lend a listening ear, a shoulder would at least make them feel better. And stupid me gets affected too; felt super emo yesterday. Plus some of the irritating things that are irritating me, ARGH! Somehow when I see my girlfriends being so hurt by guys (whether they meant it or not), it makes me feel scared. 可惜爱不是童话故事, uh? I sense the hurt from them, and I don't want to fall into the same situation as them... Of course, they might be nearer to happiness than me yeah!! :) HA oh well i think I'm not making sense anymore. wadevaaaaaaaaa.

Hope everything will start to move up from the lowest point yesterday!! :)) I'm just thankful that I know that there will always be people there willing to listen to me, just like how I would be willing to be there for my friends. :) Take care all my dearies out there, things gonna work out fine okay!! LOVE! <3

I'm finally FINALLY going to update!! hahaha :P Actually I've been wanting to, but just been lazy and procrastinating hahaha! I started another entry like weeks ago, but haven't gotten down to completing it..will post it up when it's done ahhaa, i predict it'll be damnnn long!

Anw, so this will be my first post for 2010!!! :) Being the cliche me, i shall still wish everyone reading a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! muahaha! All the best to everyone, may it be a blasting, fantabulous, marvellous, wonderful, fun-filled and happy year for you!!!! :) AND ME!!!! :)) HAHAHA :D

So fast, the holidays are going to end! boohoo :( And I'll be onto my GRADUATING sem. Would you believe it??? I can't!!!!! GRADUATING SEM!!! OMGOMGOMGOMG!! :(( The future feels so uncertain that I don't even want to think about it. Am just going to take one step at a time, at a pace that I will be comfortable with. I panic each time someone asks me what I'm planning to do after graduating, and believe me, i get ALOT of that. The panic level increases a little bit each time, it gets higher and higher and HIGHERRRRR. I really gotta spend this sem thinking hard abt the future, and start doing something. may good luck shine on me!!!!!! :)

This hols was great!! Enriching and fulfilling I would say :) The things done, the friendships forged, the experiences, whoo! :) I'm loving it! Need to rest soon to wake up early for tuition tmr, so shall not talk too much now. Next post!! hahaha :P

Yayyy I'm no longer wasting cy's 5 secs and kl's 6 secs!!!HAHAHAH!! and you guys won't be disappointed anymore!! :D