My mood for these few days haven't been that awesome; probably the accumulation of being sick previously, meeting some unhappiness at work and blah blah blah... Shan't talk about my issues at work, cos it is definitely not good to share it in a public platform where anyone can read this, and it's also a mixture of different issues i guess. It's not that terrible, just made me feel uncomfortable and insecure. There seems to be some light about it though, hopefully it will get resolved by next week! Don't ask me about it ok, definitely not a problem with me haha.. prefer to keep it within doors :)

No matter what, I'm still loving the work that I've been doing! Today was the last day of school before the holidays, and I honestly felt rather nostalgic and sad. Although tomorrow's going to be THE BIG DAY for the kids (it is the day of the annual school concert which we have been practising super long for), there are a few of them who wouldn't be joining due to other commitments. The thought that it would be a loooong time before I would see them again did make my heart wrench a little, especially when things are a little hazy now and I'm not sure if I would be back :( One of the students in my class will be going to a regular primary school next year, and although I definitely feel happy for him and ahem probably myself, there's still this feeling of sadness. Many mixed emotions I would say!

Talking about the concert, I'm really hoping that it would go on smoothly! All the children and teachers have been practising it for very long, and it really means alot to us. It's also my first "concert" as a teacher, and it does seem so significant to me. There will be loadssss of parents tomorrow, scary! Haha but so far many parents that i've met have been really nice, so it should be fine! Was actually quite excited at first for some friends to join in this special occasion to help out as volunteers, but many of them were unable to make it. Must say that I do feel a little disappointed with the responses, but thankful to my cousin who is willing to come down to help! :) It was really nice of her to agree immediately after I asked, even though it was rather last minute. I really don't like the feeling of "begging" people to help, to repeatedly ask once and again just to get uncertain and avoidant responses. Makes me feel so desperate. Well I'm not! I believe if you have the heart to do so, it would show. We really need all the help we can get I suppose, am sure it is gonna be a chaoticccccc situation! Haha but I'm sure it will be loads of fun and laughter nonetheless, so I'm really looking forward to it! Although many of the kids really do things that make me wanna scream at them, but honestly their antics really melt my heart at times. And I guess the satisfaction and joy that I've gotten from teaching them is really way beyond words and so cherished, I really feel fortunate to have the opportunity to experience it :) Somehow, all the ups and downs have made everything so worthwhile, I would choose this route all over again.

This may not have been the perfect job, nor the best offer that I could have gotten, but I've never regretted stepping into this field. I feel that it has somehow brought out something in me, made me do and feel things like I've never thought I would. Although times are hazy now, and somehow I feel like I'm at the crossroads once again, but one thing is for sure, I will try as much as I can to stay in this field. Even if I stop working here, I will find something else in this field of work. These 3 months have brighten this path for me, and made me even more determined that this is the route that I want to take, at least in the near couple of years. :) I don't feel so uncertain about the path that I want to take now, like there's a goal in my life! I guess everything happens for a reason, and for this moment, I really feel blessed to be where I am <3 Not the best, but it's enough for me. Hope this feeling can stay for a longer period of time, haha!

Oh well, have typed sooo much unknowingly! It time for bed, to prepare for the BIG DAY tomorrow! goodnighttttttt :)

dontbrushitofflikeitdoesntmeananythingtoyou,cositmightmeantheworldtome.