it's TGIF!! Woots, am over with the first week at work in school. Gosh, this week has been really really hectic, with all the new adjustments and pile of work to do. Started off with a slack day on Monday, with the kids all being so angelic and well-behaved! Great way for the new colleague, teacher P to settle in. Kept warning him though, that the kids are ususally not that hmmm.. "angelic". Haha, guess he got to see it for himself by the second day, when Sebby started to act up! He seems to be settling in though, and I think having that experience really shows. He caught on really fast about the kids, and knows what he has to do. Still miss the rapport with teacher R though, there are times when I would think: "teacher R would have done this instead". Hahah, despite being the only male teacher in our class, teacher R was really the most soft-spoken amongst us 3. We always joked that teacher J and I were like the "monsters", lollll. JOKING OF COURSE, i love my kids loadssss okie! :)

Received a compliment from teacher P today, that really brightened up my day! He said that if I were to continue in SPED teaching, i have the makings of a good teacher. I hope he meant what he says, cos I realised after he said that how much that meant to me! Ever since I started on this job, I'm used to being the inexperienced one, the one who has to be taught what to do and what not to. I always feel like I am not performing well enough yet, that there are still many things that I gotta learn and do. It felt good to receive a compliment about my job, makes me feel more confident about what I'm doing. Of course he doesn't mean that I'm doing well yet, it's just that I'm on the right track. And coming from someone with experience, makes the compliment more valuable! Hahah I realise how a simple positive statement from others, no matter how much the person means it, can be a motivation. Shall start complimenting others more, especially my students, give them more confidence!!! :)) hahah!

To be honest, I think I really learn much more from my current teacher, then the one who was leading me previously. Both are good teachers definitely, but I guess with different aims and goals in their work. Life was good with Sheila, thinking back I think she really took quite good care of me, and not expecting too much. With teacher J, the going gets tough sometimes, but I learn alot more. So that is why they say, nothing is perfect in this world. Hahah oh i wish! Shall end abruptly here, cos my lappy is running out of batt, and I'm too lazy to get the charger. Time for bed alr anw. Goodnight world! :)

Feeling a little emo tonight, cos holidays are overrrrrrrr! :( Work has already piled up, luckily managed to clear some today. This has been a relatively good break, relaxing and just finding some inner peace. HAHA ok la not so kuazhang, basically summarised into one word: SLACK (which i happen to be oh so good at).

Am looking forward to seeing my kids, not so looking forward to the upcoming changes. Haha ok i know i keep complaining about the changes, cos i really dont like!! But I guess I'm already lucky enough to be able to stay with my kids, so..suan le!

Today, one of my relatives just asked me to check out the newspapers today, cos there's this advertisement by SDN. She asked me to take a look at the activities they have, see if i want to join. HAHA, hint noted. :) Honestly, I find it sooooooo awkward to attend functions that you know the purpose is for matchmaking. I dont know, but it feels so despo to me, like i mei ren yao. BOOHOO :'( That's why I'm turning down kind offers from friends to intro "new friends". Hahaha maybe I'm just v baoshou and too shyyyyyyy, but aiyo, damn awkward la. I believe in "fate" in these things, what is mine will be mine. Although I'm really doubting whether I have fate on my side, hahaha. And it's also so hard when I don't even know how I really feel. WEIRD I KNOW. Sometimes I really wonder if I should take a step back, or just heck care and go forward. I'm worried that I won't ever like anyone else again, hahaa. OH NO. shall get mr one and only to marry me then. LOL. Hahah it's ok if you don't get what I'm saying, it's just some midnight ramblings. Guess it's time for me to go to bed, recharge for tmr!! :)

Goodnight, ming tian hui geng hao~~

Haven't been here for agessssssss! Since i'm on holidays now, finally have the time and "feel" to blog. :) Although, holidays are ending in 3 days time. Hahaha. Guess life has been just about the same; same-old same-old! Just came here to clear the cobwebs i guess, heh. The main highlights of my holiday this time was just the 2 nights stay at Hotel Michael! Stayed the first night with jc friends, was nice to catch up with them! I always feel very comfortable amongst this group of friends; it feels like we know each other since forever. <3 It was a nice feeling to wake up with these good friends around me, i think we should plan an overseas trip tgt!!! I know we've been saying this for so long, but hope that our plans would come through someday!! :))

Stayed the second night at the hotel with my parents, and it was just chill and relax. Went to Singapore Seafood Republic for dinner, my treat for Fathers' Day. The restaurant is a collaboration between Tung Lok, Jumbo, Palm beach and The Seafood International Market & Restaurant, which sure sounds good right!! But honestly, the food was a tad disappointing. Not that they were not nice, but I guess maybe we had too high expectations. Overall still quite alright la! The next day we impromptu-ly went to Sentosa and sat on the Skyride. Lol my dad was gripping the handlebars super tightly, and I was so afraid that my shoes would fall off. I can take thrilling roller coaster rides, but my 'tolerance level' for such slowwwww and HIGH rides are really much lower. When I saw how even little kids were taking the ride so easily, while the sweat was bursting out of my soles, felt so sheepish. Hahaha. Give me a roller coaster ride anytime instead pls!

Oh and I got my driving license exactly a month back, happyyyyy! :) Happy monthsary to my driving license LOL. So proud of myself to pass on the 1st attempt! I'm really fortunate to have 2 good instructors, they really helped to instill so much confidence in me. Don't really dare to think about the total amount spent, but I guess it was all worth it! Am getting the hang of driving, though my parking still sucks. Haha well i guess practice makes perfect!

Coming here to blog reminds me of all the lessons that I still have to prepare for next term, not done yet omgggg. :( Been slacking around these hols, basically just enjoying the break. It's time to get cracking again! Looking forward to seeing my kids again :D :D I'm glad to be in a job where I look forward to going everyday, that at least I don't dread the hours. Time always seems to fly past when I'm in class, though of course there have been days that seemed so looooooong. But there are going to be changes in the new term, that I'm honestly not looking forward to. :(:( One of the teachers in my class is going to transfer to another class, so we're not going to work with him anymore. SIGHS! Hate the instability of things, especially just when we all got comfortable and the rapport is there. Just hope that there will be no more changes PLEASE.

Going out soon for an impromptu k session, hahaha i love occasional impromptu events. :D It's nice to come here to blabber, will be back! :)

Am in the blogging mood again! Shall not talk about my driving, since a friend commented that I keep talking about my driving. HAHAHA. Let me share abit of my enthusiasm and zeal ma, hehehe :P

It's going to be the end of 2010! SO FAST OMG! I think the days are just zooming by so fast, so hard to catch them! My youth is slipping away!! OH NOOO! HAHAHA ok so bimbotic. LOL. But honestly, I should really catch onto my youth, and do all that I want to. Although some things are really not within my means la. humph. 2010 has been rather happening for me i guess, and it's like one of the milestones in my life. More significant than turning 21! Hahah. Maybe i should "copy" yy and do a summary of my 2010 in the next blog post. HEHEHE. :)

aiyaaa the "feel like typing" mood just dispersed. HAHA. And it's time to sleep! gotta go back to SGI tmr morning to set up classroom. MAY I WAKE UP ON TIME. HOHO.

Went for driving lesson just now, have started going on the roads since the previous lesson. The feeling is SHIOKNESS! hahaha! Have always been in the passenger seat, first time looking at the roads from the driver's view! Ok la it looks exactly the same, but the feeling is oh-so-different!! :) Cant't wait to get my license, though the lessons are making me so poor!! :(

Been staying at homequite abit these days revamping my room!! Hahah finally cleared out loads of rubbish and stuffs that i've been storing away for yearsssss! I'm the kind that likes to hold onto old things, so I still have ALOT of my old notes/files/books/blahblah. After realising how nice it is to have a non-cluttered room, I decided to 狠下心 and threw away many old stuffs. Can't believe I still kept my sec school Chemistry notes; useless stuff! Hahah not like I'm going to bother about the various acids/alkalines/blahblah anymore.. Felt a little sad clearing out my JC notes though; it brought back so many memories! Memories of sitting in the air-conditioned class listening to the teachers, of eating fishball noodle during break( especially jap don on fridays), of studying till late at night in school near a' levels, of practicing in the small little co room...so many! :)))) Honestly, looking at all that i've studied for a levels, how much effort i put in, how i studied during uni was really bleahhhhh.. I guess I really need teachers to be there to prod me to study, for the school to drop reminders and stress on us every few days. Haha, OTOT just doesn't seem to work for me. SIGH.

And JC was also the period when I got to know some of the awesome friends I have in my life now <3 I guess the bonds forged when we were all working together towards the same goal just stays, no matter what. I guess things happen for a reason, somehow we will meet up and click with people destined to stay in our lives! :))

Hooked onto a song recently, it's not really new, but not too old too! hahaha. it's 寂寞寂寞就好 by S.H.E's Hebe. NICEEEEE! :))

還是原來那個我 不過流掉幾公升淚所以變瘦
對著鏡子我承諾 遲早我會還這張臉一堆笑容

不算什麼 愛錯就愛錯
早點認錯 早一點解脫

我寂寞寂寞就好 這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了 想到快瘋掉
死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好 你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了 賴著不放掉
人本來就寂寞的 借來的都該還掉

我總會把你戒掉

還是原來那個你 是我自己做夢你有改變什麼
再多的愛也沒用 每個人有每個人的業障因果

會有什麼 什麼都沒有
早點看破 才看得見以後

我寂寞寂寞就好 這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了 想到快瘋掉
死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好 你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了 賴著不放掉
人本來就寂寞的 我總會把你戒掉

time for bed!! nitessssssssss!

I FINALLY went for my first driving lesson today! FINALLY!! :)) Went at the wrong timing though; thought my lesson was at 1245 when it was actually 1850. ARGH. To think I even took a cab there, bleah! Wasted my time going back home then coming out again in the evening. Haha but luckily first lesson went well! :) Instructor was nice and funny, very friendly too! The first time letting go of the brake and feeling the car move was so "whoaaaaaaaaa". Almost freaked out when I had to make a left turn, it's not that easy afterall! hahah! Lucky the instructor had those safety pedals thingy on his side, so he could help me to brake. Drove around the circuit for a few rounds, was quite a shiok feeling actually. HEEHEE. I'm so looking forward to driveeeeeeeee! :D

Have been blogging lesser nowadays, cos of TUMBLR! hehe! Set up a recent tumblr account, and I must say that it is rather addictive! Everytime I feel like I have something on my mind, yet lazy to type out, I'll just go to tumblr to find some nice pictures or phrases. It's a cool feeling to see a phrase and in my mind i'll go "yes yes! that's exactly what i think too!" And all I have to do is reblog. I feel like it gives me a certain privacy space, somehow I can say what's on my mind without yet being too revealing. And so often, a picture speaks a thousand words! :) It's nice to be anonymous there, when I don't have to be me. Hahah am I making sense? :P

It's the holiday season now!! ALOOOOOT of people around me are going overseas, and like almost half of my extended family went overseas and came back. I WANT TOOOOO! Don't think I will be packing any luggage this time though, but I'll be looking forward to planning a trip away from Singapore! I so wanna go somewhere cold!

In holiday mood now, nothing much to update! ciaooo!

100TH POST!

wowww i'm at my 100TH POST! *throws confetti and pops champagne* have unknowingly filled this little space of mine with 99 posts of my own writings, whether short or long, so meaningful! I started to blog just so I could have a platform to rant, and share my thoughts and feelings. Never expected myself to hang on to it till so long, knowing I'm such a 三分钟热度person. Haha. I guess it's sometimes so much easier to type whatever I want in here, than to share it with someone else. When I just need a space to share my thoughts without bothering as much about how others would think. It's just about ME. Narcisstic? heheh :P

And so, the concert has come to an end. Seems that many parents commented that it was a great concert, that they enjoyed watching it. What a relief! It actually didn't go as well as planned, and our rehearsals even felt better. But what was most important to the parents was just whether their kids enjoyed themselves on stage. I guess they were all bursting with pride to see their babies shining on stage! :))) It was a rather hectic and nerve-wrecking day I would say! Just keeping the kids away from each other, and preventing them from running all over the place was by itself no mean feat. They got more and more restless and the time passed, as all of the teachers and volunteers got more and more tired. As WL said, it's not really physically tiring, it's more mentally challenging. Having to keep a lookout for all the kids is really not a joke. Especially when they have the tendency to run off to do something absurd, or maybe with no intentions of coming back. Haha! You will find yourself getting more and more paranoid, such that any small movement by the kids and you will immediately check it out. Thankfully my class was rather well-behaved, with only some hiccups here and there.

I got so anxious when it was time to go up on stage, although I wasn't even the ones performing. Felt a little like a parent sending her child on the first day of school; the uncertainty of knowing whether he will fare well, and yet the pride that he has finally reached the stage of independence. Had to help out with Boldness first, and some of the kids were acting up. Jon and Sebas and Kart could be heard even before the audience could see them, haha. The glaring lights on stage and the crowd probably gave them a bad shock. Poor things :( But at least they managed to finish the whole song finally, with one of them attempting to jump off the stage though loll. Next up was Ability! (that's my class btw :)) Shel and I had to help out with Boldness, which really gave us too little time to prepare for our own concert. Forgot to help the kids put on their masks, headbands, didn't even have enough time to breathe. And the music tracks were so mixed up, they kept playing the wrong music, or else not playing when there should be music. ROARRR! But thank goodness it still went on rather smoothly, although I totally felt like laughing and crying at the same time when

FOX asked on stage very audibly: WHERE IS MY DADDY? (His family started to wave wildly upon hearing that, and he so happily waved back LOL) >.<
When JUDE kept running around on stage and refusing to exit; I tried to grab him but missed, and the audience started laughing >.<
When BENJAMIN couldn't stop giggling into the mike on stage instead of saying his lines, and for some reason repeated his lines twice >.<
When IMAAD came out only after like eonsssss (the audience erupted into applause once they saw him), and his lines couldn't even be heard by the audience >.<
When MOEEZ waved so happily on stage(to his family i guess) even though we told him nottttt to do so >.<
When the music didn't come on as it was supposed to, and poor NITHYA had to stand on stage alone waiting to dance. Wondered what she did though, cos I heard the audience laughing >.<

HAHAHA <3

It was so touching at the end when all the children went up on stage again, cos u can see all the parents and family waving WILDLY. TOTALLY WILDLY. I could see some of the expressions of the parents, think they were just about to burst with pride! awwwww LOLLLL! It was such a heart-warming scene honestly, and then you realize what all the previous hard work was for :)

Felt sooo shagged at the end of the concert. Glad that it was over, but yet sad at the same time too. Many thanks to the cousin who came down to help, she really made things easier for us! And lucky there were other volunteers there to help too, otherwise it would have been much more chaotic and crazyyy. Now that it's over, back to normal life again. Still gotta go back to work to help out with shifting, and my 3 months is almost up... Oh well, all I can do is wait and see. Cross my fingersssss :)

End of this lengthy post! Time for bed soon.. Work starts at 11am tomorrow, so I can afford to sleep later abit tonight! hehe. Nites all! Cheers to my 100th post agn!! :)

My mood for these few days haven't been that awesome; probably the accumulation of being sick previously, meeting some unhappiness at work and blah blah blah... Shan't talk about my issues at work, cos it is definitely not good to share it in a public platform where anyone can read this, and it's also a mixture of different issues i guess. It's not that terrible, just made me feel uncomfortable and insecure. There seems to be some light about it though, hopefully it will get resolved by next week! Don't ask me about it ok, definitely not a problem with me haha.. prefer to keep it within doors :)

No matter what, I'm still loving the work that I've been doing! Today was the last day of school before the holidays, and I honestly felt rather nostalgic and sad. Although tomorrow's going to be THE BIG DAY for the kids (it is the day of the annual school concert which we have been practising super long for), there are a few of them who wouldn't be joining due to other commitments. The thought that it would be a loooong time before I would see them again did make my heart wrench a little, especially when things are a little hazy now and I'm not sure if I would be back :( One of the students in my class will be going to a regular primary school next year, and although I definitely feel happy for him and ahem probably myself, there's still this feeling of sadness. Many mixed emotions I would say!

Talking about the concert, I'm really hoping that it would go on smoothly! All the children and teachers have been practising it for very long, and it really means alot to us. It's also my first "concert" as a teacher, and it does seem so significant to me. There will be loadssss of parents tomorrow, scary! Haha but so far many parents that i've met have been really nice, so it should be fine! Was actually quite excited at first for some friends to join in this special occasion to help out as volunteers, but many of them were unable to make it. Must say that I do feel a little disappointed with the responses, but thankful to my cousin who is willing to come down to help! :) It was really nice of her to agree immediately after I asked, even though it was rather last minute. I really don't like the feeling of "begging" people to help, to repeatedly ask once and again just to get uncertain and avoidant responses. Makes me feel so desperate. Well I'm not! I believe if you have the heart to do so, it would show. We really need all the help we can get I suppose, am sure it is gonna be a chaoticccccc situation! Haha but I'm sure it will be loads of fun and laughter nonetheless, so I'm really looking forward to it! Although many of the kids really do things that make me wanna scream at them, but honestly their antics really melt my heart at times. And I guess the satisfaction and joy that I've gotten from teaching them is really way beyond words and so cherished, I really feel fortunate to have the opportunity to experience it :) Somehow, all the ups and downs have made everything so worthwhile, I would choose this route all over again.

This may not have been the perfect job, nor the best offer that I could have gotten, but I've never regretted stepping into this field. I feel that it has somehow brought out something in me, made me do and feel things like I've never thought I would. Although times are hazy now, and somehow I feel like I'm at the crossroads once again, but one thing is for sure, I will try as much as I can to stay in this field. Even if I stop working here, I will find something else in this field of work. These 3 months have brighten this path for me, and made me even more determined that this is the route that I want to take, at least in the near couple of years. :) I don't feel so uncertain about the path that I want to take now, like there's a goal in my life! I guess everything happens for a reason, and for this moment, I really feel blessed to be where I am <3 Not the best, but it's enough for me. Hope this feeling can stay for a longer period of time, haha!

Oh well, have typed sooo much unknowingly! It time for bed, to prepare for the BIG DAY tomorrow! goodnighttttttt :)

dontbrushitofflikeitdoesntmeananythingtoyou,cositmightmeantheworldtome.

suddenly feel so tired. feels like there's alot that i want to say, yet don't know where to start from, don't know what to say. maybe i expect too much from people sometimes, maybe i'm just not understanding enough? i don't know, don't want to care. it's so tiring to always try to make everything go right. it sucks when u don't feel understood, but yet it feels like it would take too much of an effort to explain, and it's already disappointing enough without having to do so.

and when u get emo, there are a thousand things that you can get emo about.

did i say that before? thought i ever did. oh wells, i think i'm starting to not make any sense. just random rantings eh, please don't read too much into it. i think i just need a good sleep! and tomorrow will be a better day (:

another monthly update!

I seem to be updating monthly now, hurhur. Nothing much to update; life is booooooring! ahaha except when at work la, not a single boring moment OMG. Been helping to relieve another class on alternate days as one of the teachers left, and it's really a physically demanding there! Lol. Hard to explain, but it's just alot of pulling, running, dragging, pushing; you go imagine!! >.< But the children are really cute at times la,I gotta give it to their antics sometimes!

Had a nice birthday this year, I love surprises!! :) many thanks to the nusco pals who especially came to my house to give me a surprise celebration on friday!! Neighbour used quite a lame excuse to test if I would be at home, but i didn't even suspect anything! They were supposed to come by my house ard 8plus after my tuition, but they didnt expect me have last-minute changes in my plans, such that I was gg somewhere else till late instead of going for tuition! hohoho. So neighbour had to call me up and tell me their "surprise", which sadly was not so surprising anymore! Hahaha sorryyyyyy! Thanks for waiting till 10 for me, very sweeeeeet of you guys! Bet u guys had fun at jaz's hse anyway rite! lol :P I really appreciate them coming all the way up here just to celebrate my bday for me! really touched!!:))) Thanks for the presents and the (rather-squashed) bday tart! HAHA! <3

My very sweet cousins also bought a cake to celebrate for me on saturday, didn't expect them to! And I love the watch that they gave to me, really really!! feels like 21 all over again! heehee <3

And talking about watches, I realise all the watches that I have now were given to me as bday gifts, except for one that was passed down to me by mum. Probably I won't need to buy anymore watches this lifetime if this tradition continues! *winks* HAHAHA nahh just joking!

Went Ma Maison to celebrate with the nus girls on sunday, my first time to the restaurant! The ambience and food was not too bad I guess, but hmmm not that fantastic either. Probably gotta go for their dinner menu, the food might be better then. Went to Coffee Club for drinks after that, where one of the girls "announced" something BIGGGG! ahaha ok la, more like I announced it for her. :P But anw i feel really really happy for you, (ALTHOUGH YOU SAID SO LATE), stay sweet and happy always k!! :) yayyy another one down! LOL :D Went to sing k with my parents after that, as a round-up for my birthday! Haha simple but the feeling was great <3 HAHA my dad was complimenting that I sing very well *coughcough* I used to be from choir okay! LOLLLL!

Had a really nice birthday this year, thanks for all the loveeee :)) And I love all my presents, thanks my dear friends!! May everyone be happy and healthy <3 Year-end is coming, the holiday mood is here!! :D