My mood for these few days haven't been that awesome; probably the accumulation of being sick previously, meeting some unhappiness at work and blah blah blah... Shan't talk about my issues at work, cos it is definitely not good to share it in a public platform where anyone can read this, and it's also a mixture of different issues i guess. It's not that terrible, just made me feel uncomfortable and insecure. There seems to be some light about it though, hopefully it will get resolved by next week! Don't ask me about it ok, definitely not a problem with me haha.. prefer to keep it within doors :)

No matter what, I'm still loving the work that I've been doing! Today was the last day of school before the holidays, and I honestly felt rather nostalgic and sad. Although tomorrow's going to be THE BIG DAY for the kids (it is the day of the annual school concert which we have been practising super long for), there are a few of them who wouldn't be joining due to other commitments. The thought that it would be a loooong time before I would see them again did make my heart wrench a little, especially when things are a little hazy now and I'm not sure if I would be back :( One of the students in my class will be going to a regular primary school next year, and although I definitely feel happy for him and ahem probably myself, there's still this feeling of sadness. Many mixed emotions I would say!

Talking about the concert, I'm really hoping that it would go on smoothly! All the children and teachers have been practising it for very long, and it really means alot to us. It's also my first "concert" as a teacher, and it does seem so significant to me. There will be loadssss of parents tomorrow, scary! Haha but so far many parents that i've met have been really nice, so it should be fine! Was actually quite excited at first for some friends to join in this special occasion to help out as volunteers, but many of them were unable to make it. Must say that I do feel a little disappointed with the responses, but thankful to my cousin who is willing to come down to help! :) It was really nice of her to agree immediately after I asked, even though it was rather last minute. I really don't like the feeling of "begging" people to help, to repeatedly ask once and again just to get uncertain and avoidant responses. Makes me feel so desperate. Well I'm not! I believe if you have the heart to do so, it would show. We really need all the help we can get I suppose, am sure it is gonna be a chaoticccccc situation! Haha but I'm sure it will be loads of fun and laughter nonetheless, so I'm really looking forward to it! Although many of the kids really do things that make me wanna scream at them, but honestly their antics really melt my heart at times. And I guess the satisfaction and joy that I've gotten from teaching them is really way beyond words and so cherished, I really feel fortunate to have the opportunity to experience it :) Somehow, all the ups and downs have made everything so worthwhile, I would choose this route all over again.

This may not have been the perfect job, nor the best offer that I could have gotten, but I've never regretted stepping into this field. I feel that it has somehow brought out something in me, made me do and feel things like I've never thought I would. Although times are hazy now, and somehow I feel like I'm at the crossroads once again, but one thing is for sure, I will try as much as I can to stay in this field. Even if I stop working here, I will find something else in this field of work. These 3 months have brighten this path for me, and made me even more determined that this is the route that I want to take, at least in the near couple of years. :) I don't feel so uncertain about the path that I want to take now, like there's a goal in my life! I guess everything happens for a reason, and for this moment, I really feel blessed to be where I am <3 Not the best, but it's enough for me. Hope this feeling can stay for a longer period of time, haha!

Oh well, have typed sooo much unknowingly! It time for bed, to prepare for the BIG DAY tomorrow! goodnighttttttt :)

dontbrushitofflikeitdoesntmeananythingtoyou,cositmightmeantheworldtome.

suddenly feel so tired. feels like there's alot that i want to say, yet don't know where to start from, don't know what to say. maybe i expect too much from people sometimes, maybe i'm just not understanding enough? i don't know, don't want to care. it's so tiring to always try to make everything go right. it sucks when u don't feel understood, but yet it feels like it would take too much of an effort to explain, and it's already disappointing enough without having to do so.

and when u get emo, there are a thousand things that you can get emo about.

did i say that before? thought i ever did. oh wells, i think i'm starting to not make any sense. just random rantings eh, please don't read too much into it. i think i just need a good sleep! and tomorrow will be a better day (:

another monthly update!

I seem to be updating monthly now, hurhur. Nothing much to update; life is booooooring! ahaha except when at work la, not a single boring moment OMG. Been helping to relieve another class on alternate days as one of the teachers left, and it's really a physically demanding there! Lol. Hard to explain, but it's just alot of pulling, running, dragging, pushing; you go imagine!! >.< But the children are really cute at times la,I gotta give it to their antics sometimes!

Had a nice birthday this year, I love surprises!! :) many thanks to the nusco pals who especially came to my house to give me a surprise celebration on friday!! Neighbour used quite a lame excuse to test if I would be at home, but i didn't even suspect anything! They were supposed to come by my house ard 8plus after my tuition, but they didnt expect me have last-minute changes in my plans, such that I was gg somewhere else till late instead of going for tuition! hohoho. So neighbour had to call me up and tell me their "surprise", which sadly was not so surprising anymore! Hahaha sorryyyyyy! Thanks for waiting till 10 for me, very sweeeeeet of you guys! Bet u guys had fun at jaz's hse anyway rite! lol :P I really appreciate them coming all the way up here just to celebrate my bday for me! really touched!!:))) Thanks for the presents and the (rather-squashed) bday tart! HAHA! <3

My very sweet cousins also bought a cake to celebrate for me on saturday, didn't expect them to! And I love the watch that they gave to me, really really!! feels like 21 all over again! heehee <3

And talking about watches, I realise all the watches that I have now were given to me as bday gifts, except for one that was passed down to me by mum. Probably I won't need to buy anymore watches this lifetime if this tradition continues! *winks* HAHAHA nahh just joking!

Went Ma Maison to celebrate with the nus girls on sunday, my first time to the restaurant! The ambience and food was not too bad I guess, but hmmm not that fantastic either. Probably gotta go for their dinner menu, the food might be better then. Went to Coffee Club for drinks after that, where one of the girls "announced" something BIGGGG! ahaha ok la, more like I announced it for her. :P But anw i feel really really happy for you, (ALTHOUGH YOU SAID SO LATE), stay sweet and happy always k!! :) yayyy another one down! LOL :D Went to sing k with my parents after that, as a round-up for my birthday! Haha simple but the feeling was great <3 HAHA my dad was complimenting that I sing very well *coughcough* I used to be from choir okay! LOLLLL!

Had a really nice birthday this year, thanks for all the loveeee :)) And I love all my presents, thanks my dear friends!! May everyone be happy and healthy <3 Year-end is coming, the holiday mood is here!! :D

Whoops i haven't updated for like a zillion years! Haha not that life has been too busy to update, just that i am too LAZY to update!! Things always seem to snowball, until i don't feel like updating anymore.. But i still believe in blogging, so i shall try to update as much as possible! :)

It's been almost two months since i've started my new job, and i've already gotten my first pay, waiting for the second! :D Though it's really not alot, but I guess it's the experience that matters more; or at least that's what I tell myself hehe. Work has been challenging yet fun, tough yet fulfilling. Many happy moments, funny moments, angry moments, dont-know-what-to-do moments, but all in all, I'm lovin' it! <3

Alot of my friends and family have been curious abut my job, and whyyyyyy did i take it up. Haha they always ask me why don't I go into mainstream school to teach; better pay, and the children are (supposedly) easier to manage. Actually, I don't really have an answer to that too. It's just something that I've been wanting to try for sometime, that I think I have an interest in. Working with children is a definite for me, just in which sector, what nature of the job. I was thinking, since i want to work with children, why not those who needs special care? I would say it's related to psychology( a little la), and I can help those who are more in need. Just that the pay (at the moment) is rather low though, so I can say that I'm working now for my interest and not the money. :) Hmm not sure how long will I stay in this job though, maybe till i find that it becomes stagnant, when I find that it is time to move onto something else (or if some other unforeseen circumstances happens, hmm...) Haha oh well not going to think so much, just enjoy it first!

Glad that I have still been meeting up with friends occasionally, doing the things that I like. I'm really scared to enter in a new phase and lose the things/people that I used to have, but I guess not! :) And it's really these outings and gatherings with family and friends that are keeping me on, so that life doesn't get boring and meaningless with only work. Although my job really takes away quite abit of my energy level, and i just feel like sleeping and resting after work!! Hahaha but I believe it's just whether I want to or not, and I guess putting in that extra bit of effort would be worth it! :D

Going to turn 22 in a weeks time, argh time is passing sooo fast! I want to stay young alwaysssssss! now I must keep telling myself: 青春不要留白!! :)))

I've got a job I've got a job I'VE GOT A JOB!!!!! :D:D:D The whole process felt like a dream, feels so surreal! And everything happened so fast I was in a state of shock!!!! I sent in my resume at 1plus am on 23rd aug, and i received a call from them to go down for an interview in the morning around 10. Thank goodness my phone was turned on alr!! Wasn't expecting such a fast reply, considering the other 2 resumes that i sent out seems to be still stagnant...

I wasn't expecting much from this, considering that it's the first job interview in my life that i'll be going for. Was mainly planning to just get some interview experience from this, so i didn't give myself any added pressure. Of course, I still felt that tinge of nervousness and scared, cos I've always thought that interviews are like damnnn horrifying and nerve-wrecking!! When I peeped into the room and realised that I was about to be interviewed by FOUR people, i was honestly dreading it =x But to my delight they were all veryyyy nice and friendly, and though there were times that i stuttered abit here and there, it wasn't a bad experience. :) They seemed rather positive, and even asked me if i could start work next monday. I was like huhhh for real?!?!?! But yea apparantly so! They called me up the next morning (thank god again that my hp was turned on!!), and said that they want to offer me the position. When i put down the phone i was in a state of shock, partly also cos the call woke me up. HAHA was trying to keep the sleepiness out of my voice, pretend like i've been up hours before LOL. But it was a nice morning call i would say! :)

Honestly I'm rather thrilled to get this offer, cos it's really something that I'm interested in and have been wanting to try. Oh i didnt say what it was right? I'm going to be a teaching assistant to children with special needs! :) It's in a pre-school, but apparently there are still students up to 22 years old, those who can't join the mainstream schools. I can't be a teacher yet as i'm not qualified enough, so just an assistant at the moment. And sigh, which means that the pay is rather low. I'm trying not to complain though, shouldn't expect too much! I'm already happy enough that I'm given the chance to try this out, something that I have been wanting to. :) Have been considering whether to take it up for the past few days, and after much thinking and discussions, have decided to! The job will be a challenging one I'm sure, but yet satisfying and fulfilling i hope! I'm looking forward to the challenges, hope that i can rise up to them well!! :))

The sense of excitement and exuberance is bubbling up inside me, getting more as the days past. Will be starting work on Monday, oooh lala~~! It feels really really fast, like just a few days back the thought of working still seems so faraway. What to work as, where to work... and now, out of the blue, I'm going to start work soooooon! Moving onto a new chapter in my life, egggggggcited!! :D

Alright I'm sleepy already, gdnite!!!!

Was watching the soccer event for YOG just now. So disappointed! gahhhhh! Thought they played a good match against MNE, and i was so excited to see the young lions winning this match again. Oh well, just hope that they will be able to clinch the bronze medal at least!! :) It was soooo annoying to see the waste-time tactics of our opponents. They kept falling to the ground and clutching their legs, head, stomach, WHATEVER, WHENEVER. DISGUSTING CAN. It was so freaking obvious, the commentators were saying that no one would take them seriously if there was really a real injury. We understand that you want to drag for time, but don't have to be so obvious!! And why stoop to such fake, "underhand" antics. It happened like every 3 minutes or so, DAMN ANNOYING!!! So sad to see our team so demoralised after that, but oh well, i guess they can do better the next time! :)

Feeling so hot and sticky these few days, so uncomfortable!! Was walking around in the afternoon for tuition and errands, felt like i was going to burn and melt away soon. It's on such days that i really wish that Singapore would have 4 seasons!! But then again, the day that such a thing would happen would mean that our mother earth is going haywire, so haha better not then. I think the weather is also contributing to my not-so good temper these days, ahaha. I get so worked up at small things! Met a rather rude adult yesterday, and i was honestly rather pissed off. But oh well she's a distant relative of mine, so I can't really do anything also. grrrrrr!! Seriously, I can't stand adults who think they know everything, then talk like they think they can help, when they are actually not helping anything. Irritating can! stop trampling on my toes!!!

Hahaha dont't worry, be nice to me and i will be nice to you too!! (:

Back from KL for like 2 weeks already, officially slacking! Trip was fun anyway, and I really felt the meaning of "Shop till you drop"!!! hahaha! Had nice food, nice shopping, nice home stay and most importantly nice company!! Really thankful that we had uncle driver to bring us around, I realise getting around in malaysia is not all that convenient! And the worse thing is, you can't even use cabs as a last resort, cos they are not even a safe mode of transport. gahhhh! But it was a nice getaway!! :)

Sent some resumes out, still waiting for replies..Think it's time to send more out! I feel quite bad, cos I just don't seem to feel the sense of urgency. Hopeless haha! But it's definitely time to get a job, hope that i'll land on something that I really want sooooooon! :)

Was watching the Gymnastics event YOG, suddenly felt like being a sportswoman!! HAHA! Felt so nervous for the contestants, especially when they made blunders. I think it's really an awesome platform for the youths to showcase their talents, and probably to prepare them for the London Olympics. I loove to watch the swimming events, so exciting! Hope that Singapore can get our second medal today!! wheeee~

I have a new pair of PURPLE specs! Haha never expected myself to get purple specs, have never been a great fan of purple anyway. The black looked too strict and serious on me, purple looks much friendlier and younger hehe. It's the nerdy frames kind, so I think I look really nerdy in it! wahahhaa! No no scratch that, I meant INTELLECTUAL. HAHA :D

Borrowed some korean books, shall tryyyy to pick it up agn! Ever since like forever, hahaha! But at least I have my neighbourhood neighbour as companion now, yayyyy :D

Ahhnyong~!

对不起，谢谢.

i guess there's nothing much else left to be said?

take care ba! :)

I'm offffffffff to KL in a few hours time!!! YAYYY :D haha so excited about the shopping, and I'm sure it'll be fun with the girls and Mr Driver! :)) Going to throw all the unhappiness away, and just have fun!!

I felt the love from my friends these past few days <3 Everytime i am emo or down, there will always be people there for me. XIE XIE NI MEN! All those who have talked to me, heard me out.. I really really appreciate all the little words of concern and encouragement! :) Don't worry, Si Hui will be fine! :D

Haha what an upbeat post! I don't like to be emo-momo.. Ok it's time for me to finish up packing and go off to sleep! KL here i comeeeeeeeeeee! :))

I guess things have changed somehow...right? Although the irony is that i didn't plan for things to go this way, not yet. But i don't know, maybe things that are meant to happen just has to happen somehow, sometime?

Alot of things that i wanted to say, but just feel stuck all of a sudden. Shall share them again when the mood comes or something.


I really didn't mean to hurt anybody.
Be ok, okay? :)